- Romantic or abusive: Why facts don’t matter in a viral love story
- Social media influencers invade China, make $4bn in 2018
- Police ordered to compensate DV victim they endangered, but the officer responsible is still on the payroll
- Filtered Darwinism: The 259 people killed by selfies may be the lucky ones
In 1997’s Deconstructing Harry, Woody Allen’s central character said “all people know the same truth; our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.”
There are other standouts from that movie – “baseball’s easy because it has rules” and “I’m a guy who can’t function well in life but can in art.”
Now that the proverbial has hit the fan for old Woody, it’s hard not read more into these lines than I had before. I wonder if he’s been mulling them over as much as I have recently. I don’t suppose I’ll ever know how he’s really feeling, but I do know this: I don’t want him to have done what he’s accused of. I don’t want him to be a paedophile.
You’d have to be living in a parallel universe not to know that allegations he molested his daughter Dylan Farrow have resurfaced 20 years after they were originally made public. That he is only days away from finding out whether his latest Oscar nomination for Blue Jasmine is going to give him his fifth Academy Award is undoubtedly what has reignited the fire in Dylan Farrow’s belly so fiercely, with her very directly and specifically challenging those who continue to honour him professionally, including Best Actress nominee Cate Blanchett.
“It has obviously been a long and painful situation for the family and I hope they find some sort of resolution and peace” said Blanchett in response, no doubt hoping to effectively sidestep the controversy with her Oscar chances intact. She does appear to have avoided any professional impact from the fallout, though it isn’t looking so positive for Woody Allen. Then again he doesn’t exactly make it easy for himself – the awkwardness of his demeanour, both onscreen and in real life; his reclusiveness; his obsessive need to focus on his sexual inadequacies in explicit detail in almost every screenplay; not to mention the marriage and children to a woman who was once his stepdaughter. These are things that are at first glance a little startling; with concentrated effort they can quickly be seen as totally freakish behaviour. The more you think about it, the more suspect it becomes.
So did he do it?
Well I will always believe the victim, that’s what we must do, so I guess I have to say I believe he did.
And yet there is a little part of me that’s holding back. Not because I disbelieve Dylan Farrow or because I’m a Woody Allen fan and don’t want to see an idol disgraced, but because we live in a world that is already so suspicious of the motives of men and I don’t want yet another story confirming that suspicion is justified.
I have men in my life who are wonderful, kind and honest and who would never hurt a child, yet every time a paedophile is discovered they too are judged.
And they know it.
It is particularly apparent in the way we view older men. I have a father about the same age as Woody Allen who is fascinated by little children. Where my mother is disinterested in the offspring of anyone unrelated to her, my father can watch children for hours, delighting in their company. He is not creepy, he is not predatory and he’s absolutely not interested in them for any sinister motives. He does, however, live in the moment, have an incorrigible mischievous streak and is a big fan of play. He lights up around tiny people and always has. He loves observing how they interact with the world; it is something he has passed on to me. The difference is that as a woman I am fairly free to interact with children without causing alarm, whereas my father – my kind, genuine, gentle father who children gravitate toward – keeps his distance. He’s respectful, cautious and aware. He wouldn’t dream of approaching a child unless he knows both the parents and the child themselves are okay with his presence – after all, he was once the protective father of a little girl watching out for bad men.
He still is.
But, as his daughter, it makes me sad.
It makes me sad that my father has to modify his behaviour because we live in a world where men and children are a suspicious combination. It makes me sad that the children themselves don’t get to benefit from the wisdom of his years and the silliness of his humour.
It makes me sad that none of his children have yet made him a grandfather when he’d be such a very good one.
So back to Woody, and another of his quotes…
“It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.”
I really hope for the sake of my father that Woody Allen gets a good night’s sleep every night.