Everyone was putting on their best shocked and horribly surprised faces on Monday morning with news that the first budget from a recently-elected conservative government will include significant public sector job cuts.

The impending cull of over 10 percent more public sector workers than the previous government had planned to anyway is tipped to save $500 million and abolish or amalgamate numerous beloved national institutions you have never dealt with or knew existed.

Really, we should have been preparing for life after the Albury-Wodonga Development Corporation since September.

Joining A-WDC on the chopping block are the Australian Renewable Energy Agency, COAG Reform Council, the National Water Commission and the Prime Minister’s Indigenous Business Policy Advisory Group. Meanwhile, the alphabet soup of bureaucratic acronyms will be thinned out through making various agencies share their toys and play nice with each other.

With all the abolishing, amalgamating and simply not doing certain things anymore because it won’t piss off anyone who matters, it will be easy to miss the hiring amongst the firing. It just won’t be the government doing it.

The private sector can be trusted to pick up the slack in pursuit of lucrative markets such as indigenous health in remote areas, arts television programming and employment services for professionals with mental illness – oh what’s that? We don’t do that last one anyway?

Okay, never mind – the invisible hand shall provide.

Finance minister Mathias Cormann has rejected suggestions that the cuts are ideologically motivated.

This is of course complete conkers. The cuts are as ideologically driven as the agencies they are getting rid of. That’s the point.

Ever seen a documentary about Lions where the new alpha male kills off the cubs of the previous leader of the pride?

This is the same thing but with ring binders.

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