Corey Farrell

Top Five: Music genres bound to fail

Image: Kpop

Welcome back the TBS fortnightly Top Five, care of Corey Farrell. This week’s is the Top Five music genres bound to fail…yeah there are plenty more but these are a given…

 

Music genres bound to fail – No 1. North Korean Pop

One of the few styles Kim Jung Un is proud to bang on his sound system. Unfortunately this fusion of workers party ideals and catchy synth stabs won’t get much love south of the border.

 

Music genres bound to fail – No 2. Christian Black Metal

Normally associated with church arson, the Christian take on Black Metal couldn’t be more different. While maintaining lightning fast tempo and shrieked vocals the message revolves heavily around church building and a pro-Jesus agenda.

 

Music genres bound to fail – No 3. Dubstair

Like Dubstep but more steppy.

 

Music genres bound to fail – No 4. Minimal Intellectual Jazz

Imagine a smoky dark cocktail bar with the sound of an off key oboe piercing your ears every 13 to 14 minutes with nothing but silence in between.

 

Music genres bound to fail – No 5. Progressive Cop Hop

F”$k the Police? Not here. Of all the music genres, this blend of “urban street” and “serve and protect” culture will leave you questioning NWA and have you joining your neighbourhood watch.

 

 

Corey Farrell

This is Corey Farrell. He is an aspiring Don Draper (minus the misogyny) who writes x-rated poetry, imaginary monologues, rants on rugby league and occasionally angry open letters to inanimate objects who simply can’t and won’t respond. He likes meat and puns, and firmly believes ‘a steak pun is a medium well done.

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