Smoke Puff: VMAs? Huh? Oh, you mean “VM-Bey’s”…

Blake Sutherland watched the VMAs but clearly they were just a warm up for the Queen of music herself, Beyonce…#BeyondAmazing

 

What’s an award show without awkward dancing from Taylor Swift?

Without Katy Perry recycling someone else’s ideas?

Or without, well, Beyonce single-handedly murdering the careers of everyone in music?

It’s an award show I do not wish to see, that’s what it is.

Let me give you a sassy AND lazily quick recap of one of my personal favourite award shows – the MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs)!

The VMAs started with some performances by Ariana “too old for a ponytail” Grande, feminist icon and rap goddess Nicki Minaj and that Jessie J girl who must have snuck into the event or something, right? Which eventually ended in Nicki’s dress zipper malfunctioning (most likely from an overflow of talent).

Taylor swift proved that she is the single whitest person alive both on and off stage, seen dancing to some of the more flavoursome acts from the crowd in a not so flavoursome way. I was told Lorde, who for some reason won “Best rock video”, was performing an exorcism on her but you didn’t hear it from me. You probably heard it from Katy Perry who was seen throwing some major side eye Miley Cyrus’s way (who, may I add, has come leaps and bounds since last year’s “misfortune”, which we wont discuss) during a pretty cool acceptance speech given on her behalf for her win of video of the year (Wrecking ball) by a young homeless guy named Jesse who gave some pretty startling statistics on  the number of young homeless people in the U.S. Cyrus leaned rather poetically against the stage to watch, a single tear rolling down her face.  She’s alright in my books.

Oh yeah, Katy Perry! KP proved she’s the queen of recycling other people’s ideas by donning the iconic double denim couple couture mess once worn by Justin and Britney, which was enough, with “rapper” (?) Riff Raff by her side. For some reason. I’m sure there will be a 3D movie about their break-up next year.

Can you tell I’ve rushed to this point so far?! Just like the VMAs themselves, rushing through minor talents and nobodies to a moment where time stopped still and the world lay witness to yet ANOTHER iconic, groundbreaking, dare I say, and flawless performance from our lordess and savior Beysus, I mean Beyonce!

Queen Bey performed a medley spanning her entire record-breaking visual album. She did strong, she did sexy, she did soulful before coming to rest on a super heartwarming rendition of Blue sung to her baby Blue Ivy, who joined her on stage with husband Jay-Z in an embrace that could have just about cured my own heart of its blackness (which it did, at least momentarily, because I actually cried).

So, this year’s Beyonce concert (AKA the VMAs) was amazing and it was really SO nice of her to let all those lesser people open for her.

Worth the wait.

 

 

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