Mike Welsh

About Mike Welsh

Mike Welsh is a multi award winning Commercial Radio talk-back radio host,documentary maker,magazine columnist and blogger and is based in Canberra. Mike is the Editor of TBS Boomers, our hand selected section for Aussie Baby Boomers.

50 Shades of Grey: P(opc)orn-ography?

Mike Welsh provides the male (spit)take on 50 Shades Of Grey…of course, he hasn’t actually seen it (sure, Mike), but he reckons that if looks, smells and sounds like porn like FSG does, then FFS…call it PORN!

 

What’s the difference between erotic and perverted?

Erotic is using a feather, perverted is using the whole chook.

Apparently.

What is the difference between “racy” and pornographic?

There is no difference between porn and racy. Not anymore.

A Coffs Harbour Pink Ladies Valentine’s Day fundraiser featuring the porno flick 50 Shades Of Grey, has been promoted as “racy”.

When did this happen? It’s a slippery slope. How long before “racy” becomes respectable?

The word pornography has been successfully sanitised, homogenised and almost normalised. “Food Porn”. “Mummy Porn”. “Shane Warne”.

It’s just not natural. A trench coat should be stained with…well, you know…not Choc Tops and Popcorn.

This is what happens when you start messing with nature. Wholemeal Pizza, Low cal Coke and Porn with a Plot. It’s just wrong.

Pardon my pathetic porn puns, but it’s hard…sorry…difficult to be serious when you are talking about not talking about pornography. I’m probably flogging a dead whores (last one I promise), but if it looks, smells and sounds like PORN, and “FSG” does, then FFS call it PORN.

50 Shades Of Grey has aroused “serious” discussion and pricked some serious feminist consciences even on the commercial couches of our TV breakfast shows. Today co-host Lisa Wilkinson was completely underwhelmed by 50 Shades Of Grey. Worst movie she’s seen she said. Over at Mamamia, Mia Freedman sturdily disagreed.

The book by E.L. James sold by the pallet load at “all good bookstores” like Big W and even scored a book deal for her husband, Niall Leonard, a serious writer before the chick lit hit the fan.

Another serious writer, Nikki Gemmell is probably regretting hiding behind anonymity when she published her porn piece The Bride Stripped Bare in 2003. A woman ahead of her time, it would appear.

I haven’t read or seen 50 Shades Of Grey and I won’t, but I know pornography when I hear it. Anyway I am far too busy knocking out my own piece of “racy” lit in the hope of selling a pallet load…

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DIRTY DAVINA’S KISS MY WHIP MASSAGE PARLOUR….

Chapter One…

It was still dark outside as Irish Backpacker Davina Donnelly slovenly dragged herself off the filthy mattress she’d drunkenly slumped onto only hours before. She clumsily put on the red underwear she’d randomly scooped up from a pile of clothes scattered across the floor of the dank and dingy apartment.

But as she pulled the faded 301’s up over her long slender legs she heard a spine-chilling scream from the mattress below her. It was Oscar… “You can take my jocks but you can never take my Levis”

Happy (slightly belated) Valentine’s Day!

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