There is power in pee, apparently, and Katherine Quinn has gone to some lengths to start spreading the…um…news…

 

There’s been a lot of interest in urine lately.

While we were casually going about our lavatorial business, researchers in the UK were working out a way to harness the power of pee.

What they came up with was a microbial fuel cell that generates urine-tricity.

Who knew we were all walking around with such a useful, yet currently untapped resource?

Aid agencies are excited by the idea and hope to use the technology to provide electricity in refugee camps.

Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell the Germans about pee power. Residents in Hamburg’s nightclub district have become so fed up with revellers urinating all over their buildings that they are using water-repellent paint to deter them. This paint, usually used in ship-building, will bounce the pee back at the offender, giving them a nasty spray.

If this succeeds in deterring the sneaky public urinator, is it possible to adapt this substance for personal use? Could I spray a light mist over myself before boarding a crowded train so that when inevitably someone sneezes in close proximity, the jet of mucus will just ricochet off me?

Perhaps there are other nasty habits that could be curtailed by cleverly designed paint. Could a special gum-resistant coating be applied to footpaths that repels chewing gum and tosses it right back onto the careless offender (preferably into their hair)?

Back to the pee problem.

Why don’t those electricity boffins install special collection urinals in the streets around German nightclubs?

Then those revellers could help generate some carbon-neutral electricity.

Surely the residents of Hamburg wouldn’t object to that!

 

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