Avoiding completely bagging “the West” over Perth Glory, Jack Howes focuses on the positives, like Marlon Samuels and his brilliant send-off of Ben Stokes, plus other sporty stuff in his weekly #HotTaekes.


I got a bit stuck in to West Australian soccer last week, what with the Perth Glory rorting the salary cap in the A League and all. And this week they’re at it again, with two players and a coach pinged for betting on a National Premier League game. Fortunately the individuals involved didn’t bet on matches involving their own team, which would have been straight up illegal, but as FFA chief executive David Gallop pointed out, “There are particular sensitivities in the case where participants are betting on a match in their own competition.”

The three were given suspended fines, with the FFA apparently believing the claim that the three did not understand the ban on betting.

I’d normally say something mean about West Australians at this point, but I think they’re doing a pretty bang up job by themselves at the moment.

The NBA finals are underway at the moment and the rampant parochialism of the Australian media has kicked into full swing. After a year of negligible reporting, we’re now getting daily updates on Patty Mills (good,) Aron Baynes (not good,) and Andrew Bogut (robbed!!?!).

It’s all going pretty much to script, with the favourites getting it done, as you’d expect. With the finals being played out over an ungodly amount of best-of-seven series, there’s plenty more to come.

West Indian cricketer Marlon Samuels has just made himself the favourite player of everyone born outside England after giving Englishman Ben Stokes one of the funnier send-offs in recent times after Stokes’ dismissal on the second day of the Test at St George’s. The pair had been feuding throughout the Test, and when Stokes was dismissed for a lowly eight Marlon Samuels decided he deserved some attention.

Down here in Melbourne the football world has been all aflutter recently due to the Premier’s temerity in declaring a public holiday the Friday before the Grand Final in September.

Apparently the issue is now that no one will turn up for the traditional Grand Final Parade with corporates and similar set to lose millions in revenue raising opportunities. It’s got so bad even Jeff Kennett has been wheeled out to try and bring some pressure onto the government. The new Premier, Daniel Andrews, has responded to the criticism by bravely declaring he intends to turn the parade into a family affair. In private it seems more than likely that whichever staffer decided the public holiday was a good idea has been turfed out onto the street and a taskforce has been set up to work out how the hell to get people into the city on a public holiday.

You’d think there’d be bigger issues at play, but then again, it’s Melbourne.

Lastly, with Anzac Day in mind, spare a thought for all the commentators this week who are going to have to revamp their entire dictionary for the weekend. Out goes “hero”, “warrior” and “true courage”. In comes…well, exactly the same words probably. Only this time they’ll be followed by awkward references to Diggers being the real heroes and a note that sport isn’t quite the same war.


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