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With Google+ being picked apart by the jaws* of Facebook, we have secured the re-telling of a story of someone who saw it firsthand.
With the name Google+ now being etched onto the door on the corporate mausoleum, at peace in the final resting place next to the companies who tried to usurp Facebook, we at TBS wanted to know why an idea with limitless funds failed. So we dug deeper, and we found someone who says he saw the whole thing. Sort of.
TBS: You were on Google+? What happened?
Quinn, T: A failed social network idea concept, Buzz, slammed a hit into our coffers, chief. We were comin’ back, just delivered the keynote. The Google+ launch keynote. 100 Million Users went offline. Google+ went down in four years. Didn’t see the first offer for about a half an hour. Facebook, California. You know how you know that when you’re in the business, chief? You tell by lookin’ at the advertisin’. What we didn’t know… was our idea had no clear objective, no plan B had been thought out. They didn’t even list our layout as groundbreaking. Very first quarter, chief. The Facebook came cruisin’. So we formed ourselves into companies. You know it’s… kinda like a list, you see after a search, like on Google. And the idea was, the Facebook comes to the nearest profit margin and that profit margin, he’d start reworkin’ and downsizin’ and revampin’ and sometimes the Facebook would go away. Sometimes he wouldn’t go away. Sometimes that Facebook, he looks right into your business model. Right into…You know the thing about Facebook, it’s got…lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes. When he comes for ya profits, doesn’t seem to be livin’.
Until he consumes your upwardly-mobile business model and paperwork rolls over black and white, And then, ah…then you hear that terrible sound of doors closin’ and the numbers turnin’ red. In spite of all the compensatin’ and integratin’ they all come in…and rip your business to pieces.
Y’know by the end of 2014, we lost a hundred revenue streams, I don’t know how many Facebook employees, maybe a thousand! I don’t know how many start-ups, they averaged six a quarter. On Thursday mornin’ chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Myspace from Beverly Hills. Music-Sharing site, script-based interface. I thought he was idle, reached over to log-in. Couldn’t. Kicked me out of the server…all that was left was a couple of photos. Well… he’d been made irrelevant.
Noon the fourth year, a Google Executive saw us, he looked at the numbers and he saw us. He’s a lot younger than Mr. Zuckerberg, anyway he saw us. And three months later a big fat business model gets actioned and we start to change the interface. Google+ Connections. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin’ for the figures.
I’ll never work in social media again.
So, twenty social media networks went into the business, Two came out, Facebook took the rest, August 5, 2015.
Anyway, we delivered the speech.
(*With apologies to Steven Spielberg)