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The TBS Commuter Nature Handbook

TBS has funded this scientific study to document the many species of commuters that call the public transit system home. Have we missed any? Let us know!

 

The morning commute. It may be a hunting ground, or for some a spot to mate, but the commuter wilderness is a harsh environment, where the battle for personal space is a daily one. Those who have trudged through the filthy moving undergrowth may have noticed that commuters all seem the same. But under the umbrella label of “commuter” there are many different sub-species to discover. And be wary of. In the name of scientific research, see if you can spot all these creatures that call public transport home.

 

The Solitary White-Collared Shrew:

Not nocturnal or day feeder, the Solitary White-Collared Shrew (or SWCS for short) has the appearance of always being asleep. Or wishing they were still asleep. The SWCS has a unique defence mechanism, by resting its glasses on its beak and glowering over its nest, constructed solely out of broadsheet newspaper, it demonstrates to predators it is far too busy to be bothered.

The SWCS is a rogue. A lone feeder. While two separate SWCS’s may cross paths, they will rarely group. Instead they favour challenge, forceful bucking of business minds and the whisping of buzzwords, until one is bested and retreats back to the safety of its nest to re-think stratagem.

While the SWCS sits alone, it is not the only alpha-predator in the tunnel.

 

Concrete-Spattered Labour Bird:

The main adversary to the Solitary White-Collared Shrew. So deep is the schism between the two species, that rarely have they been spotted sharing the same seat. (Editors note: If you spot this rare native phenomenon, please attach evidence to the Facebook comments section.)

The Labour Bird is an intrinsically social animal. Usually sporting a dazzling orange/yellow plumage, these jokers of the commuter world always make themselves known.

It is interesting to note the strange habits of the Labour Bird. Pre-dawn, they prefer solace. In fact, you can walk past a sleeping Labour Bird and not notice it. However, in the early afternoon hours, the sounds of their mating calls ring marvellously, as they group together in the daily effort of attracting a mate (The Western-Sydney Scrubber). Each Labour Bird does its utmost to outdo the previous anecdotal warble, thereby further outlining its superior credentials to mate. The attendance of a suitable mate is not usually required, for the Labour Bird will expect the mate to make itself known.

Despite the dangers that these two predators possess, they are dwarfed, living in fear of the smallest molecule, powerless in the singular, but towering in a group. A species that holds sway over all others in the Commuter eco-system.

 

The Train Dwelling Mosquito:

The Train-Dwelling Mosquito is easily identifiable, be it by ways of his staid white coat or air of pretence they bring with them. They are known to spread wide over a target area, patiently waiting for prey before pouncing en masse, paralysing the victim with the TDM’s main weapon: Deadly Legislation.

The train dwelling mosquito is completely impervious to empathy, which makes them impossible to deal with. Avoiding the TDM’s hunting zone is also difficult, for they are known favour blind spots and solitary points of ingress. They are expert hunters, cutting off the targets’ casual escape, before devouring him or her, dragging the target’s details back to its lair for further processing.

 

Have we missed any? As an ongoing scientific study, we’re all about education.

If you have spotted a species that we’ve missed, please list the Name, Feeding Habits, Mating Habits and Unique Markings in the comment section below.

And please. Don’t get too close.

Happy spotting!

 

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