Sunday Satire: Our resident snoop Jordan King-Lacroix has discovered the true origin of this week’s revealing hack of cheating website Ashley Madison.
There have been a lot of stories in the wake of the massive security breach and subsequent information release at Ashley Madison, the website for cheating spouses looking for “discreet encounters”. The first revelation was that people looking to cheat collectively groaned in frustration as they had not previously heard of Ashley Madison, annoyed that they had been going about cheating in the old fashioned way, by meeting stray people at bars.
The newest revelation, however, has been much more intriguing. In a video released online earlier today Noel Biderman, the owner of Avid Life Media – the parent company of Ashley Madison – purportedly came forward explaining that he and a secret team of expert hackers were themselves behind the hack which released the information of hundreds of thousands of users of the website for dishonest married people.
“The original intent of Ashley Madison was a social experiment, to see if anyone would actually sign up,” Biderman allegedly states in the video. “But as more and more people signed up, I became filled with disgust, with anguish. Here were married people looking to betray the trust of their spouse! As a happily married man with children, I just couldn’t abide it”.
Using the team of people who help run the website, Biderman took the website’s information and pretended to be a group of rogue hackers who were enraged by the lack of women on the website, complaining there were only “spambots” and that the men “weren’t really cheating”.
“I realised also that it would draw people to the website, to other elements of my business and saw a unique marketing opportunity,” Biderman supposedly went on to say. “You can have ISIS beheading as many people as you want with Syrian ruins in the background and it still won’t get as much traffic as a story about cheating schmucks caught in the act. Moral high ground is a hell of a currency and I wanted to cash in”.
In light of the new evidence, several class action lawsuits have been threatened against Ashley Madison, but have only proceeded as far as the “the silent treatment”.