Roger Pugh

About Roger Pugh

Following a career that comprised heading up global marketing departments and advertising agencies Roger made a seachange to his hobby of humorous writing by co-founding Political Satire site, Friday Mash. Roger is now the Native Content Director, heading up The Big Smoke’s Creative team and a regular political columnist in both Australian and USA editions of The Big Smoke.

Australia: A guide for US refugees

Roger Pugh from Down Under Current is thinking ahead to those refugees fleeing the Trump presidency and thought he’d help them out a bit.

 

It now appears inevitable that the realisation of a Trump presidency would create a surge of US refugees, but where on earth would they go?

Certainly not to Mexico, because all access would be blocked by the twelve million amigos sent packing by Donald. Canada would naturally give priority to the millions of their expatriates hotfooting it back home.

Recent polling showed that Australia is the Trump-free destination of choice for potential US refugees. They are particularly impressed by a political system which has produced five prime ministers in five years.  It reassures them that in the event of a Trump clone somehow seizing the top job, he wouldn’t last there very long.

While Obama looks like contriving to stay in the White House for eight years, he’d have been lucky to last eight weeks in Australia.

Refugee travel to Australia from the US is not easy. Walking is not an attractive option because even if you’re proficient at walking on water, it would take at least a year or two.

The chances of success travelling by boat are only marginally better. A passage on the Queen Mary could do it, but people smuggler packages to Australia often fall short. Their only chance of evading Operation Sovereign Borders, the force barring sea entry to Australia by unauthorised refugees, is via nuclear submarine.

Refugees caught attempting to enter Australia clandestinely are spirited away to forbidding places where the concept of living under President Trump would conjure visions of a promised land.

Flying in by Qantas or American Airlines is the recommended refugee route to Australia. It should also be noted that bringing millions of dollars into the country does no harm at all to prospects of citizenship. Of course, there is the further possibility that Australia could agree to a humanitarian intake of Democrats who are being persecuted because they voted for Hillary.

Arriving in Australia disguised as Syrian refugees might help, providing you don’t give the impression of being pro-Assad, pro-Al Qaeda, pro bono, pro-al Nusra, pro-IS or proliferating.

Forward planning in Australia to cope with the possible influx of US refugees is already considering the possibility of taking over Gitmo as a processing centre.

Please note however that US citizens bearing the name Clinton, Obama or Biden who may be seeking refuge in Australia from President Trump would have to sign an undertaking that they wouldn’t engage in politics.

 

This article was written as part of a collaborative project with DownUnder-Current US (Australian commentary on US affairs from a safe distance)

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