Jordan King Lacroix

A Current Affair: Putting nonsense before the little guy

Approx Reading Time-10After A Current Affair’s segment that called for unemployed women to be sterilised, a collective of those marginalised has grouped to protest.

 

After A Current Affair explained the benefits of eugenics last night, crowds of frustrated people took the streets this morning in protest – but it wasn’t who you’d think. Thousands of crooked accountants and dodgy builders protested the use of “our timeslot” to talk about women and contraception.

“ is primetime for our businesses to get the word out there about who we are,” disgraced plumber John di Giordano said. Di Giordano was found out to have been stealing money from children in the homes he worked in, an act Mr Di Giordano proudly claimed gave his business a shot in the arm. Before A Current Affair, he was just an everyday shonky plumber, going broke ripping people off. His “star turn” on ACA made him the shonky plumber in the greater Strathfield area; his glory days now nothing more than a half-remembered anecdote. “Without that airtime, where are our clients supposed to come from? How will people know we’re here?”

The protesters wanted to make it clear that A Current Affair was out to “crush small Australian businesses,” accusing the long-running television programme of taking an important revenue stream off the table. A business plan that doesn’t discriminate. For those Australian businesses, those low on morals but high on imagination, exposure on ACA was a way they could prosper in this sunburnt suburban landscape. A proud, family-orientated-true-blue-heeler-Australian-made fiscal system that held the promise of upward mobility.

One that provided for real Australians for real decades. Until last night.

“I don’t know why they’re hurting us. We made them who they are,” Marcy Vo said. An ACA piece on Ms Vo revealed that her childcare business was actually a front for a low-range sweatshop.

“Who cares whether or not poor women should be forcibly sterilised? The real questions should be, ‘Who will do the dodgiest job for cheap to help that woman mind her kids? Find someone to not fix her sink? To locate the most fleet of foot landlord?’ That’s where we come in! All we ask is an Australian cut of the money.”

A Current Affair allegedly tried to justify the segment as “newsworthy” and “socially important” before realising that, no, what they had done was instead preach a Third Reich principle in a more contemporary manner with an angry voice-over.

All the protesters wish to be, is heard. Heard in the classic sense. With their faces proudly blurred, nobly pursued through a car-parks, honourably bamboozled by well thought out accusations based in rigid evidence, from the mouths of the cream of Australia’s journalistic crop.

Sadly, this is now in the realms of distant memory. While the red stamp of accusation may now lay silent across the building sites of this land, those who once came under the rubber heel of judgement will continue to ask questions. Questions that A Current Affair used to ask. The hard-hitting questions for which answers are deemed surplus.

In the words of Di Giordano, “…like the good old days.”

 

Jordan King Lacroix

Jordan King-Lacroix was born in Montreal, Canada but moved to Sydney, Australia when he was 8 years old. He has achieved a Bachelor of Arts from the University of Sydney and McGill University, Canada, as well as a Masters of Creative Writing from the University of Sydney.

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