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Hugh Glass was the character that finally bagged Leo his Oscar. But all is not well, as those who he previously worked with now want theirs.
In a career that must have seemed like an infinite loop of disappointment, Leonardo DiCaprio has finally won an Academy Award. He bagged the statue for his earthy performance as protagonist Hugh Glass in The Revenant.
But not everyone is happy.
The characters DiCaprio has previously played have come together to seek restitution in what they are alleging as “unfair treatment.” Arnie Grape (What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?), Howard Hughes (The Aviator), Danny Archer (Blood Diamond), “Monsieur” Calvin J Candie (Django Unchained), Jay Gatsby (The Great Gatsby) and Jack Dawson (Titanic) have formed the Organisation for Slighted Character Acting Recognition (OSCAR).
“The heart of the matter ain’t simply that we weren’t nominated,” Candie said, accosting a nearby journalist, blood oozing from his injured hand. “It’s that the ones of us who deserved it didn’t get it. It’s that this feels a might like pity – and we are not to be pitied!”
It appears as if these characters have now forever split from DiCaprio, leaving his recent protagonist the only companion of this great actor. After a lifetime of delicate portrayals, he is left a hollow, screaming shell, weeping openly for the recognition that has long eluded him.
A grand moment lost on those members of OSCAR who are seeking compensation in the form of retroactive acclaim and a readjustment of the limelight.
“Simply put, we are his betters,” Gatsby said, throwing a knowing wink to the camera. “We are the cream of the crop.”
“Cream of the crop, cream of the crop,” Arnie Grape repeated over and over, nearby.
“We’ve worked so hard to make a difference on and off screen,” Danny Archer said in a distinctly passable Rhodesian accent. “But what we’re left with is blood on our hands. In some cases, literally.”
“I was the King of the World,” said Jack Dawson, still shivering despite the dozens of towels he is wrapped in. “Now, I’m an embarrassment. A joke. There’s no space for me on the raft, even after all this time.”
What this means for the Hollywood system at large is not known, as the results of this movement could start a legal precedent for marginalised fictional characters to gain compensation against the Academy and those who brought them to life.