Morning! What happening while you were asleep? Abject insanity. Bill Shorten votes in an election he can’t, two offices fight with post-it notes and the US squabbles with Russia. Again.
“Mild Bill” Shorten casts vote in US election, Penny Wong agrees
Bill Shorten is a man of the people. Looking to secure the popular vote in the minds of the populace, he has decided that Donald Trump in the White House would be a “difficult” pickle to find oneself in.
Ergo, Shorten will be voting for Hillary.
The real story here is that there is no story. Truth is that Shorten is late to the station, pursuing the last carriage of the anti-Trump train in glorious slow-motion, assuming that the world will internally combust when the votes are counted, and the worst of our fears are realised. Honestly, the apocalypse may happen, but probably will not.
The actual hero of the piece is Penny Wong. Although she has no lines, she wonderfully underpins Bill’s fears with some outstanding nodding.
— Anna Henderson (@annajhenderson) May 17, 2016
Two offices decide to battle it out with office stationery to numb the pain
The history of office hijinks is a rich one. Be it subtextual bullying of the incompetent, taking all the phones off the hook to avoid getting caught before you get to leave, or poorly thought-through dalliances. All time honoured greats.
However, two New York advertising agencies have decided that your impulsiveness is small potatoes. Perhaps driven by hubris, coffee and/or boredom, they’ve decided to raid the supply cupboard and duke it out through the medium of art.
— Scott Ahearn (@scottahearnnet) May 13, 2016
— Erika Wegener (@ELWegener) May 13, 2016
So, who won this battle? Well, clearly the author of this effort.
— kBostley (@kBostley) May 10, 2016
US DA levels doping charges against Russian athletes, restarts Cold War
For most, the Cold War ended with the dissolution of the Soviet Union (that or when Rocky beat Dolph Lungren), but to others, it rages on.
J’accuse, the New York District Attorney, who have tapped their finger on the WADA report in November that claimed “state-sponsored doping” (otherwise known as “The Russians are up to something”). Clearly the protagonists have learned little from the 50 years of sabre rattling, and the adolescent stockpiling of nuclear accoutrements.
Honestly, and I speak for all of us at TBS, we need to allow a fair competition in world sport. We need to allow all drugs in all sports to in order to find out, not only who is the best, but who has the best chemist, and who has the least amount of possible scruples in the detonation of their own bodies.
Now, that would be something worth waiting four years for.
See you in the shelter.