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While you were Asleep: Labor creaks ahead, GoT ep leaked early, baby boomers discover dank meme

Approx Reading Time-10Morning! What happened while you were dozing? Well, Labor took the lead, the latest GoT ep was internally leaked, and the previous generation has discovered the dank meme.

 

GoT episode leaked from the inside, internet pirates weigh anchor

Ahoy matey. In a reverse befitting the narrative, it seems that the band of warriors who are the Game of Thrones staff was betrayed. From the inside! Unlocking the gate to let the Mongolian hordes in (was that GoT?) was HBO Nordic, the site leading the latest episode 24 hours before the official commencement of hostilities.

According to the media outlet that reported the leak, the parrot wearing, peg-legged set TorrentFreak confirmed that it is “indeed legitimate” before castigating the leak episode for its poor quality.

Avast ye landlubber!

 

Bill Shorten’s dream week nets him two solitary points, takes the lead by a molecule

If you needed proof that politics was a game with the dice missing, surely this is it. Last week, Bill Shorten could do no wrong. He was hobnobbing with transients, popping shakas, kissing infants, the whole enchilada; crucially he has become the set-up, not the punchline, of Australian politics.

So, what did his dream week bag him?

Otherwise known as:

Is it July yet?

Can’t we just tie their wrists together, give them both a switchblade and settle this in the time honoured manner?

 

Baby-boomers warn of the dank meme; inadvertently live out the dank meme

Much like Plutonium, or that box with Jesus in it from Raiders of the Lost Ark, there are things that man was not meant to toy with. Ignoring the mistakes of movie history, two men from ABC’s Insiders have decided to thumb their nose at God and unleash the horror that is the dank meme.

Now, Dads of the world, before you decided to judge us for creating the dank meme, know this. We had it contained. You cut it loose. We know it was stupid, but it was harmless. Now you know what it is, and if the wizened fools at Insiders are to be believed, it will now pollute an already borderline meaningless election. Which is want the dank meme feeds on.

Abject pointlessness.

The fools. The mad fools.

 

And finally:

Boris Johnson loses office, succumbs to the dark side of the force.

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