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While you were asleep: Munich details, Froome wins, Bloomberg backs Hillary

Approx Reading Time-8Morning! What happened while you were unconscious? Well, we know more about the life of the Munich shooter, Chris Froome won the Tour and Obama decided to go all Sherlock.




The backstory of Munich shooter filled in, all too familiar narrative.

We now know more about Ali David Sonboly, the man who’s index finger recommenced violence on nervous European streets. The 18-year-old acted not out of a steadfast devotion to a creed, rather it was a combination of his own mental issues, coupled in twain as a requisite response to being bullied. Seven of Sonboly’s victims were teenagers – two Turks, two Germans, a Hungarian, a Greek and a Kosovan.

Upon raiding the house of Mr Sonboly, Munich police were said to have found material relating to mass shootings of the past, and in particular Anders Breivik, the white supremacist who tore Norway apart with his erasure of 77 people. It is worthy to note that Sonboly recently changed his profile photo to Breivik, and his shooting shared the date with the Breivik shooting.

A kid, bullied, and suffering from mental problems, finds solace in the wrong place, enacts his own conclusions. Extremely familiar.

This morning Munich police have taken a 16-year old into custody, who was purportedly a friend of Sonboly. According to their Facebook page, “There is a suspicion that the 16-year-old is a possible tacit accomplice to the attack.”


Froome wins third Tour, impossibly tight pants set to be chiselled off, immortalised.

Chris Froome, the bloke who decided that he didn’t need a bicycle in a bicycle race has won his third Tour de France. On the cobblestone piss-up that is the last stage of Le Tour, the final touches were painted on Froome’s three-part masterpiece trilogy.

Much like Godfather III. This one, however, will be remembered as not as good as the other two, both for its plot, and the acting of the protagonist:

That being said, if you are held up in any way by the smug lane hoggery of a cyclist, and their pants seem tighter, and/or more arrogantly inspired, that’s why.


Bloomberg to endorse Hillary Clinton, Obama pops on deerstalker.

Michael Bloomberg, the man named after the television station has turned on what I can only assume is his extremely well-tailored heel, and is set to endorse the ‘Hill for her traipse up Capitol Hill. Why should this matter? Well. It doesn’t, save for the fact that Bloomberg was a Republican not so long ago (and potential presidential nominee), so it represents how little he thinks of the GOP’s Trumpination (trademark pending).

Elsewhere, Barack Obama has caught up with the rest of us, stating that the GOP’s nomination of Trump shows that there is “something up” with the Republican party. Well, fetch my pipe and hat, Watson.

Elsewhere elsewhere, the POTUS’ own half-brother, Malik has decided that he will be voting for Trump come the day.

These hoes ain’t loyal.


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