Company prints human tissue through 3D printer, screams “It’s alive!”

Approx Reading Time-8A company named Nano Dimension will soon be printing human tissue through a 3D printer. Great, right? Well, does anyone remember Frankenstein?




Gird your loins for this one, science fanciers. Or don’t, for they can print you new ones, for the techno-wizardry of those who wield the clipboards has exceeded their own selfish genius, with an Israeli-based company soon to be creating human tissue via the 3D printer.

Nano Dimension, those fools, those mad fools, have been able to combine stem cells with what one can assume would be ink(?), and hey presto, through the harnessed power of the lightning bolt (read: powerpoint), they one day may be able to soliloquise It’s alive. It’s alive…It’s alive, it’s moving, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, IT’S ALIVE!

The technology itself is a rather complex art, where the precise ballet of tearing down millions of years of evolution was explained by the CEO of Nano Dimension, Amit Dror, as “…we had to make sure we didn’t electrify and kill the stem cells when the inkjet is spitting them out”. Which is probably a very, very complex thing to achieve, but honestly, it makes them sound like a drunkard attempting to make pizza in the wee hours. Ohhh, I burnt me stem cells.

Dror also claimed that “no one else is using inkjet technology” in order to create a person, which is absolutely true, for, and I’m out on a limb here, but the splicing of genes in this matter is rather dangerous, not for the subject, or the questions of theology, but rather the dangers of what could be.

For instance, how much research has gone into toeing the various gene pools of the 3D inkjet printer? A fair question to ask, for one misstep up the genetic ladder will birth some God-banished hideous Golem, with the face of a man, and the mind of the most ruthless antagonist man has tangled with: the common office inkjet printer. An unreasonable brute, devoid of feeling or empathy, a creature that only answers to itself in the never ending pursuit to have it’s paper tray refilled.

What then? Will we regale these men as genius then? Or will we chase the beast out of town, by threat of flame and violence, and right the mistakes of man before we find common ground with it?


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