Morning all! What happened while you were asleep? Well, the funding for the Paralympics was spent on renovations, China confused us all, and the Depp/Heard divorce was finalised.
Paralympics funding money spent on Olympics, awkward fund-raising commences.
Well, much like the first time that we get paid monthly, Brazil’s organising committee has gone a bit cray with the funds, and now have too much month at the end of their money. According to The Independent, the money that was supposed to be for the Paralympics was used on revamping the Olympic Village.
Coupled with this, the Organising Committee are already late paying grants to athletes, which, according to the clenched fist rhetoric of Craig Spence (the spokesperson for the Paralympic Committee), is not good, and may see athletes miss out on the games entirely. Although, credit to those who spent the money, as they are trying to secure a $79 million grant from the Brazilian Government to plug the hole. The government said “maybe”, if the private consortiums make their taxation and financial records known. Classic loan red tape.
The last minute uncertain confusion is best summed thusly:
Rio organizers trying to raise necessary funds for Paralympics weeks before the start! This is getting more ridiculous by the minute!
— Michael Johnson (@MJGold) August 15, 2016
China launches Quantum Satellite, equally stuns and confuses world.
Last evening, China launched the world’s first Quantum Satellite.
— RT (@RT_com) August 16, 2016
For those who are confused as to what a Quantum Satellite actually is (which is to say, all of us), well…as Run DMC mentioned in their ode to Quantum Physics, it’s tricky. Tricky trick tricky ugh. Ostensibly, the Quantum Satellite was launched to measure a type of communication from space. That particular communication method is the tricky quantum cryptography, which, due to the nature of the beast is a tricky thing to pull off on earth, due to the obstacles in the way.
So, what did we learn, Palmer? Well, if the project is successful, and the satellite can transmit back to earth, then theoretically we’re disco. The interesting thing is, though, is that there will be no method of transmission to track, it is merely a pair of photons communicating, which in layman’s (finally) means that it cannot be read by an outside party. Ergo, it cannot be hacked, tracked, recorded, manipulated et al.
A secret channel in the truest sense. Vast congratulations to China who make us look bad seeing as we can’t figure out how to connect to the Interweb portal (*cough* NBN).
Depp/Heard divorce ruling settles for $7m, writer settles for lazy headline pun.
Well, it’s over. Over-over. The Depp/Heard marriage will be a relationship that’ll be sadly remembered for all the wrong reasons. Be it jousting with Barnaby Joyce, dog smuggling or, (and most importantly,) the hydra of domestic violence.
Buzzfeed obtained a joint statement from the pair; the bow on the unwanted gift of their relationship:
A joint statement from Amber Heard and Johnny Depp on their divorce, obtained by BuzzFeed News. pic.twitter.com/e6M5OTHpTH
— Ema O’Connor (@o_ema) August 16, 2016
Just doesn’t look right. Anyhoo, some good may indeed come of the divorce, as Amber Heard has decided to donate the proceeds of the divorce to a charitable institution to be named later.