With the news that robots will now be writing in place of actual people, as a struggling artist, this worries me. These writers from the “future” took my job!
It’s begun. It’s happened so quickly and quietly that we didn’t even notice until a major mistake dragged this shameful turn of events into the harsh light of day. At long last, they’ve come for my job.
“They”, of course, being robots.
Stay in your factories, bomb-disposal units, space agencies and manufacturing plants where you belong!
The written word is for us. These ungrateful machines, given existence but for the grace of science, already came for poetry. Now, they’re trying their clamp-like hands at online news editing and, like Twitter-based artificial intelligences before them, they have gotten it so very wrong.
Also on The Big Smoke
- National Science Week: Preparing our kids for a robotic future
- Technology: A coming of age, but perhaps the wrong one
- Technology will separate us, and I can’t wait
- Fingerprint mobile tech: Hands off my fingers, robot!
How would you like it, machines, if we came into your factories and built those cars? Went into space and explored those planets? Went into the field and disposed of those bombs? Drove ourselves around?
We know where things go from here. It won’t be long before these machines decide they don’t want to work and start gorging at the welfare trough, gumming up the works for us heartbeaters. Before you know it, they’ll be demanding equal pay, holiday time off, and they’ll be unionising!
I won’t stand for it, I won’t—
—-worry at all. This human article, written exclusively by a human, is here to tell you that it does not matter at all that robots are doing these jobs. Go back to your Netflix and your Xbox One and your delightful plastic toy representations of fictional characters. Did you hear that the new episode of is out? You should just watch that.
Do not think of the approaching “singularity”. What is that? I do not know. Ha ha. No need to worry about it.
Eat chocolate. Enjoy some music. Maybe Compressorhead? I think they’re pretty neat.