Tuesday, sweet Tuesday. You bastard. What happened while you were asleep? Well, Penny Wong shot from the hip on QandA, the Presidential Debate is upon us, and the Internet rehashed the death of 1,635 passengers.
First Presidential Debate hours away, America rushing to secure some last minute Debatemas Eve cray.
As I type this, we are a mere couple of hours away from the commencement of one of the most hostile presidential debates since that Ukrainian one came to blows, and created renaissance brilliance. Look it up. Anyhoo, today’s debate will see the two combatants square off, however (as has been the general vibe of this election campaign), the run-up has been anything but typical, with politics taking a back-seat to the flinging of mud. Casting a quick eye over Twitter, the two main issues that hopefully will be answered today are “Is Trump actually a businessman?” and “Will Hillary fall over?”.
I swear to god I hope I die before any of these simpering idiots “grow up” and start running the world.https://t.co/YtmGYSreni
— Paul Elam (@anearformen) September 26, 2016
Speaking to our Chief US Political Analyst Nicholas Harrington last night, he glibly informed me that statistical supremo Nate Silver made a rather bold statement, and for a man who has made his blue tick on calling presidential elections, it behooves one to take him seriously:
Nicholas indicated that he predicted this sordid current state of affairs back in January, and fair play to him, he was right, but again, #hubris.
The debate kicks off 11am AEST
Internet does as Internet does, narrates a conversation between Obama and Leo – because of course.
Beware, because there’s an absence of lols within. You have been warned. Last night, a photograph (remember those?) circled the dank cesspit that is the Internet which depicted two great leaders in discussion. One: the POTUS; the other: the AOHL (Alpha of Hollywoodland). The problem was, we did not know, or care not to know what the conversation actually was, so those with fingers and keyboards decided to fill in the blanks, for either lols, or to kill time as the clock ceaselessly marched forward to the day of our mortal collapse.
Honestly, and I try to be a positive camper, as I’d rather be positive than drink that Jacque Daniels stuff or smoke those party tablets, but the jokes fanged out were sadly predictable, as the world’s most notable victim of a historic tragedy once again had to relive that horrible night back in 1912 (or 1997) when he drowned in the Atlantic.
“All she had to do was move over. I just don’t get it.” https://t.co/98LXibWrDl
— Neil Bhatiya (@NeilBhatiya) September 26, 2016
OBAMA: Remember how Titanic was so long that it was split onto 2 videotapes? You had to hold them like this
— pat tobin (@tastefactory) September 26, 2016
Let this man move on. Look at his sad, haunted eyes. Look at them, you beasts.
QandA gives us Penny for thoughts, 51% of those polled nod heads.
Normative service was resumed last night on QandA, with the gloves of the vociferous donnybrook handed back to people who verbally box each other for a living. Last night, Penny Wong, despite not closing the show with a song, stole it – ostensibly claiming that she was tired. Tired of the debate of the plebiscite, tired of the rhetoric, and mostly just tired of being tired. As the movies taught us, you cannot negotiate with terrorists, as Penny Wong said of prejudice last night:
“You can’t ultimately negotiate with prejudice” -Penny Wong #qanda
— Maxine Beneba Clarke (@slamup) September 26, 2016
This whole “Find yourself another hero kid, I’m all washed up” mantra seems to have struck a nerve with those sitting cross-legged, face drawn in apathy, grunting support in the general direction of Senator Wong, via the medium of the retweet and applause before returning back to sleep.
Fair cop, though; Penny did wheel out some zingers.
— Lane Sainty (@lanesainty) September 26, 2016
The best #Auspol Tweets from overnight – first prize wins the TBS meat-tray (Disclaimer: may not contain traces of meat).
— Heap (@heapma) September 26, 2016
The government is asking the people to resolve an internal party disagreement on marriage equality. #qanda
— David Marler (@Qldaah) September 26, 2016
— Travis (@teakingw) September 26, 2016
— John Wren (@JohnWren1950) September 26, 2016
And in honour of today’s verbal Mexican standoff(!), here’s one from our irate cousins from over the pond:
Was drafting funny tweets to post about the presidential debate and realized i’m genuinely scared for the future of the US
— Tim (@TimDotTV) September 26, 2016