While you were asleep: Russians claim US “pussies”, Shia’s wedding now art, med marijuana legal in QLD

Approx Reading Time-10Thursday. Huzzah. What happened while you were asleep? The word “pussy” was back in the US election conversation, Shia’s wedding was debunked and medicinal marijuana was made legal in QLD.


Russians claim “pussies” on both sides, US election has official catchphrase.

As the watchword for the 2008 presidential election was “Hope”, it seems that “Pussy” is the 2016 equivalent. Outside of Trump’s locker room, that naughty word has cropped up again, escaping the lips of Sergey Lavrov, the Russian Minister of Foreign Affairs, during an interview with CNN. Minister Lavrov claimed that there was “too many pussies in your presidential campaign on sides that I prefer not to comment about this”, but this was no stoic Russian barb flung ruthlessly whilst gnawing on a turnip and leafing through Das Kapital as the anthem blared in the background. It seems that Comrade Lavrov was referencing Trump’s aping of the “Pussy-Riot movement” aka that anti-Putin punk band.

I know what you’re thinking, I’m there too. What does an anti-Putin band have anything to do with Trump, a man who looks favourably upon the shoulders of Vlad? One can only presume that it was a soundbite leapt upon, after a nonsensical question was asked to someone whose English is “not my Mother tongue”.

However, Sergei did maintain that the continued claims of Russian interference with the elections as “ridiculous” but also “flattering”.

In the words of Boney M, “Oh those Russians”.

Unfortunately, the “p-word” continues to crop up in the political sphere with Trump’s campaign manager Kellyanne Conway planting that she was tired of the GOP “pussyfooting” in regards to supporting the party’s candidate.

Just stop saying it.


Shia’s Vegas wedding not legit, makes his performance art legit.

It’s time to just say it. Shia LaBeouf is a genius. Or at the very least, our Warhol. It’s fair to claim that his recent wedding in Vegas, which looked like this inside of David Lynch’s head, compounded with a slight concussion, is his latest living artwork.

The county of Clark have noted that they’ve received no marriage licence was issued, so yeah, the wedding is fake. But who cares. LaBeouf is an artist who should be taken seriously for his esoteric, albeit inventive social commentary of our celebrity-obsessed lives, for which he himself is a victim – as evidenced by him watching the entirety of his movies back-to-back, for free, whilst live streaming it, to publishing his whereabouts via GPS, on the proviso that whoever finds him will be his bff for the day, to living in an elevator for 24 hours to promote intimacy between strangers.

Oh, Shia.



QLD GPs to prescribe medicinal marijuana, law passed unanimously.

Here d’is. Sorry. In a ruling overnight, the Queensland State Government has officially placed medicinal marijuana in the hands of local GPs allowing them to prescribe the drug to patients in need. In a unanimous vote, the voice of the Premier, Annastacia Palaszczuk, spoke loudest.

“My government has been moved by the stories of families with young children with epilepsy, suffering life-threatening seizures, and what they have to go through on a daily basis,”

QLD Health Minister Cameron Dick claimed that the ruling signified hope (not that other word) for people who had been forced to score the drug off the street.

“Queensland is leading Australia in providing a pathway to access medicinal cannabis treatment for those who need it most, in a safe, controlled way,”

Queensland joins arms, and bloodshot eyes with a raft of countries that already support a similar scheme.

The law has an unknown on the effect of the economy of Byron Bay, with the purveyors of beads, combo knits and dreamcatchers surely set to very slowly head northward.



The top five #AusPol Tweets from overnight.


And if you’re not especially keen on work today, perhaps it’s best to go the full Kyrgios to get out of it:

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