Morning! What happened while you were asleep? Well, there was a chance your sleep would have been eternal, as an Asteroid came teeth grindingly close to our humble planet.
World dances risk tango with Asteroid, almost has feet stepped on. Translation: we were almost all dead. Woo.
Here’s a sobering thought: last night we could have all been killed; like confetti scattered over the muted galactic wedding, as the rather Dalek sounding “Intruder Alert” system of NASA reported our rather thin scrape with an Asteroid. Now the men and women of intergalactic science were not worried, as they knew it was going to miss this hateful, watery orb, but this is by how much.
A ~30-meter asteroid, 2016 UP36, will make a close flyby of Earth today (5.0 Lunar Distance) pic.twitter.com/hbFcsz5Yi5
— Ron Baalke (@RonBaalke) October 31, 2016
While it wasn’t close enough for the world to collectively suck in our guts, by gar, that’s close enough! The asteroid itself has drawn opinion from both sides of the tracks, with those who (correctly) calculated its path casually mentioning that it weren’t no thang:
— Barbara Moser (@NamiBarb) October 30, 2016
Whereas the exit of the asteroid, and our cheating of species-wide death, was indeed the worst of outcomes.
Honestly, just let the asteroid hit at this point. https://t.co/ZQzXHjycpp
— Murtaza Hussain (@MazMHussain) October 28, 2016
As I’m yet to have coffee, I’m all for it. Let it replace Hillary as the Democratic candidate to democratically death deal. It’s early. I apologise. #AsteroidComeBack
Health Minister Sussan Ley clashes with government policy on asylum seekers, nation dries teeth with awkward delight.
The Turnbull government plan to ban asylum seekers has been collectively met about as well as the news of a transient “crashing a few weeks” on your couch; unexpected, and unwelcome. However, in day three of the policy’s announcement, in the words of the opposition, those who oppose things for a living, “the cracks have started to appear”. Hooray for soundbites. Last night, in the conversational thunderdome that is QandA, the silver haired devil welcomed Sussan Ley, our current health minister.
— ABC Q&A (@QandA) October 31, 2016
Now, to boil down political rhetoric to a level that doesn’t make us all kick drywall or roll our eyes beyond the edges of our socket, the exchange went thusly:
The question circled around those who settled elsewhere, but were to visit Australia as tourists later. Would they be banned? Sussan Ley said “no”, but the answer was “yes”.
The opposition opposed this, and then a series of backtracking left us lost in the conversational maze with no clue, as father dearest hunts for us with an Axe, crazed as the House had got to him.
A big bright shining Star: Casino underreporting acts of violence.
The happiest place on earth, Sydney’s Star City Casino, has been painted a rather awkward colour of strife with the claims that they have been under-reporting acts of violence on the premises. In an internal report gleaned by the ABC, a staggering two-thirds (75 of the 111 violent incidents) were not handed over to the constabulary. Moreover, the estimates would place the Casino as ten-times more violent than the most violent in the state, the wholesome, and fun sounding Plantation Hotel in Coffs.
The crux of the issue lies in the right column in the below chart, for according to the report, the larger scuffles within the nightclubs on premises often went undocumented, instead opting for the piñata effect – breaking it up, and scattering it elsewhere.
In the quest of balance, the management of Star pointed out that the report contained inaccurate information, and birthed a “misunderstanding of the incident reporting process at The Star”.
The top five #AusPol Tweets from overnight
— Fr Rod Bower (@FrBower) October 31, 2016
Susan. That’s a pack of Leys. #QandA
— Lᴏʀᴅ Wᴇɴᴛᴡᴏʀᴛʜ (@LordofWentworth) October 31, 2016
Seriously #qanda, why don’t we have a whole panel of some of the extraordinary Australian former refugees who are leaders in their fields?
— Maxine Beneba Clarke (@slamup) October 31, 2016
— Sur Plus (@otiose94) October 31, 2016
A few short months ago, Turnbull said Hanson *is not welcome in the parliament* Now he’s singing from her song sheet.
— Grab my Dags (@noplaceforsheep) October 31, 2016