Glamour has named Bono as one of its Women of the Year. I’ll let that sink in for a minute.
World renowned hubris aficionado/singer Bono has been named as one of Glamour’s Women of the Year, an award that honours the most influential females in the past calendar year. This year the list features peerless Olympian Simone Biles and the impossibly brave Stanford student Emily Doe, who earnestly shared her terrible experience of sexual assault to bring the hammer down on Brock Turner (although not nearly hard enough), and change the dialogue in which the US views the victims of these crimes.
With them is Bono. Dafuq?
The official line, and logical bow drawn, is that Bono is being honoured for his charity work, especially his “Poverty is Sexist” movement, which endeavours to assist the world’s poorest women, who live on a paltry $2 a day – a charitable verve which was honoured by 2005 Woman of the Year Christiane Amanpour on the Glamour website. Glamour Editor-in-Chief Cindi Leive stated that “We’ve talked for years about whether to honour a man at Women of the Year and we’ve always kind of put the kibosh on it. You know, men get a lot of awards and aren’t exactly hurting in the celebration and honours department, but it started to seem that that might be an outdated way of looking at things, and there are so many men who really are doing wonderful things for women these days. Some men get it and Bono is one of those guys.”
Which is both all well and good, and also completely sideways. Suffice to say, that the Internet does not share the optimism espoused by those who handed out the award, and either do I.
Does Glamour Magazine know giving Bono the “Woman of the year” award for trying to undo patriarchy undercuts the entire point of the award?
— Travon Free (@Travon) November 1, 2016
It’s so important that our daughters understand they can grow up to be Bono
— Oireachtas Retort (@Oireachtas_RX) November 1, 2016
If Bono is woman of the year, I declare myself the greatest member of famous rock band U2.
— Resident Kweeva (@kwoovo) November 1, 2016
Because corporate feminism can’t go one day without sucking patriarchy’s dick, @glamourmag just named Bono one of its Women of the Year 🙃
— Clementine Ford (@clementine_ford) November 1, 2016
In summation, one could wrap the absolute clusterfuck of 2016 thusly:
A horse as sports woman of the year, a fictional character as UN ambassador, and Bono as woman of the year. Gender Equity achieved ✔️
— Luke Ablett (@luke_ablett) November 1, 2016
I need to go sit down now.