TBS Newsdesk

While you were asleep: Trump’s cabinet rumours, Dutch prison revamp, Sorkin’s mouthy memo

Approx Reading Time-10Friday? Lost a day there. What happened while you were asleep? Well Trump may be filling his administration with his bros, the Dutch got creative with Folsom, and Sorkin wrote a note to his family.

 

Trump’s pals rumoured to be taking top jobs in administration.

It’s just like your first apartment. You’re excited, you’re unsure what to expect, so you reach out to your closest friends and say “bruh, it’d be so rad if we lived together, we’d be able to hang out all the time. Shakaaaaazz.” As we experience, however, what is good in theory is often the reverse in application. So it goes with Prez-elect Donald, who presumably skipped the share-house lesson and could potentially fill the top slots in his cabinet with his beer pong squad.

Obviously this is all hearsay and conjecture, but if it’s good enough to make a headline, which in 2016 is a hard thing to accomplish, they don’t just print anything y’know, then it must indeed be true.

Also, news just in, Trump set to transition into woman as show of support, says* Sen. Christie:

christie

 

Dutch set to close 50% of their prisons after importation of crims plan flops.

The problem is simple. Prisons in the Netherlands are going out of business. Which is a galling sentence to type as we all know that crime always pays, and the prison system is a sound investment that remains a lock (and key) when everything else slips by the wayside. Pity then, Dutch investors with a lack of scruples, as there’s a lack of prisoners to make money off.

However, all is not well in the land of Van Gogh, with the solution to the prison problem met with awkward derision. By shoehorning in another issue, the unused prisons of Holland are now housing refugees:

The refugees – who will live in the centres for at least six months while waiting to be granted asylum status – are free to come and go as they please.

The obvious assertion is “why make refugees feel like prisoners when they already share enough similarities?”, which is fair, but elsewhere in Holland, a prison has been revamped into a rather swanky hotel. So, I’m unsure what to make of it really.

Don’t steal the soap!

 

Sorkin pens letter to daughter, lusts for Nixon, criticises voters.

Aaron Sorkin, the man who gave us the motor-mouth-walk-and-talk-yakety-yak-yak script dialogue format, has picked up the pen once more to write a letter to his daughter via Vanity Fair. In the interfamily note he rails against the collected circumstance that brought us Trump, and also yearns to trade him for everyone’s previous less favoured POTUS, Richard Milhous Nixon. For those of you playing at home, he didn’t do particularly well.

However, in good news for the people of Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Ohio State, and the American voting public, the ouija board trade was a metaphor.

In the letter, Sorkin uses a cuss-word (gosh!), but explains why, saying that we’ll “fucking fight” to win the day. Well done, Aaron, now get Martin Sheen to read it out loud.

 

The top five #AusPol Tweets from overnight.

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