While you were asleep: #SackDutton movement, Trump’s sweet vid and the solar-powered island

Approx Reading Time-10Morning, all. What happened while you were asleep? Well the nation rose as one to criticise Dutton, Trump announced what his plan is, sort of, and a sunkissed island became solar-powered.


#SackDutton movement gains ground on social media, testicles of Turnbull screwed further.

Australia has come together as one. To criticise. But unity through vicious hate is still unity. The target for our ire is, as it usually is, one Peter Dutton. But! What makes the vociferous scorn different, my pedigree chums, is that instead of the militant Left wanting his cranium, most of the commonwealth want to wear his skin in retribution, with the hashtag #SackDutton going all the way to the top of the Twitter-pops.

Suffice to say, the ball is squarely in the court of Mr Turnbull. Although one could assume that the ball has limited room to bounce due to the cramped nature of the playing surface (i.e., many, many balls).

As we’re on the topic of sacking people via popular angst, let’s turf out all those people who serve us coffee, but get our names wrong, even after we’ve corrected them. Hopeless, intrusive bastards. If the coffee they produced stood up our most baser of assumptions, that’s all well and good, but these argumentative, inept servants of the coffee drinking public must go.


Trump unfurls plan for first 100 days in office, sort of.

For those who believed that Donald Trump didn’t have the dancing shoes or coconuts to traipse around the dancefloor of international politics, well…as the kidlets say: “peep this game, homeboy”. The Prez-‘lect released a vid where he vocalised his hope, nay, plans in his first 100 days in office.

Honestly, the point of the video doesn’t lie in the words within (because there’s fuck all in it of substance) but rather the manner in which Donald delivers them. Padding out the sentences. Promising change but giving no direct date nor plan. Revealing the existence of the team that will do it, without going into specifics. Classic misdirection, and absolutely champagne international politics.

Is Don. Is maybe good.

Well, not good. But less shit.

Incidentally, Trump also promised to castrate the Trans-Pacific Partnership. Thanks to the video budget of CNN, here’s what that looks like:


Tesla powers entire island with solar energy, succumbs to unimaginative name.

SolarCity is the name of the city powered by solar energy. Sometimes being obvious is a beautiful thing. The American Samoan island formerly known as “Ta’u” is now being powered by 60 power packs. Tesla, made famous by their extremely fast electric cars that charge extremely slowly, has dipped to our craziest lottery dreams and bought a tropical island, on which to test new and advanced energy alternatives. What? No-one else has that dream? (Dr Moreau had something similar a while ago. – Ed)

Also loosely known as “The Island in the Sun” (another great name; pardon me while I re-centre my rolling eyes), Tesla are set to save the 100,000 gallons of diesel usually required to run it. Crazy, lofty times be these.


Top five #AusPol Tweets from overnight

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