TBS Newsdesk

While you were asleep: Trump makes history, Bali drug verdict headache, Flume takes on lockout


Approx Reading Time-10Good Morning, all! What happened while you were asleep? Well, Trump made history, and people angry, no drugs were found on teen in Bali, only drugs, and Flume attacked the lockout laws, after 10pm.


Trump appoints women, makes people angry.

I see you Trumpie, recanting your lies. It’s been a fairly good week for the jangled political waters we in the good ship SS Trumpwillkillusall sail upon, with the Don making significant steps away from the light of the alt-Right. After deciding not to put Hillary in jail and announcing he is “open” to the climate change discussion, Trumples has appointed South Carolina governor Nikki Haley as UN Ambassador and Betsy DeVos to head up Education.

Does this represent Trump’s about-face on what is his perceived (and perhaps evidenced) misogyny?

Well, no. According to Twitter, DeVos represents the hated “money class”, a billionaire insider who sits rather far away from the environment she is set to reform. Incidentally, her brother Erik Prince is founder of Blackwater, one of the largest private military firms, made infamous by their slaughter of 17 civilians in Iraq back in 2007. Just background, but, blood runs thicker than blah blah blah.

Oh, well.


White powder found on Oz teen in Bali not drugs, but drugs.

According to numerous reports, the substance found on Jamie Murphy in a Kuta nightclub (we’ve all been there) was actually Paracetamol, a fact which has simultaneously killed his cred in the drug world, and has seen the nation grumpily roll its eyes as we learned it wasn’t to be the Schapelle sequel we’ve always wanted. Doesn’t it just feel patriotic to have an Australian rotting in a Balinese prison?

However! We should take this incident seriously, because a) drugs are still drugs and b) we might be on a new trend here. All we need is a name. Not that we condone this kind of behaviour, but may we suggest “Poppin’ Panos”, “Humpin’ Herron” or “Im’aprofen” as a media label?

Fortunately, all the tests have cleared, so barring some unforeseen incident, Mr Murphy will be free to go. However, one can’t help but feel bad for Mr Murphy; not for slipping the noose, but because the hijinks are clearly over, with this to befall him over the next 48 hours:


Flume calls out lockout laws at ARIA’s, sadly makes announcement after 10pm.

Flume, the aesthetically pleasing DJ guy with aesthetically pleasing bangers, decided to use his moment in the limelight with true musico-activist verve by railing against the hated lock-out laws after accepting his ARIA for Best Pop Release for his hit single dropped in January, Never Be Like You, which, from an editorial standpoint is a tune with a “ch”.


The irony of it was that most of us who witnessed it were either sober, or at home. If we were participating on school-night hijinks, we would have missed it. Stick that in yer Flume and think about it.

Love your music, kthanksbye!

Incidentally, Flume’s comments on the boner-killing barren wasteland of the Sydney nightlife come off the back of Time Out ranking a city on its affordability, vibrant nightlife, accessibility and friendly locals. Suffice to say that we Sydneysiders did Sydney well and ranked somewhere between “that didn’t go well” and “piss poor”.


Back off, Tay.


Top five #AusPol Tweets from overnight.


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