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Kayne Taylor

About Kayne Taylor

Thirteen going on Thirty. Burger addict. Voted for Kodos.

Approx Reading Time-10In this week’s Burgers I’ve Burgled, we watch as the heavyweight gets even heavier. Round six. This staying power defies logic. And healthy eating guidelines.


As a consequence of watching too many movies, I’d like to think my burger-burglarising has some point to it. The down and out lead fighting against adversity, under the schooling of some sort of wizened geezer as we rise to the challenge of our rival. Problem is, the person I’m fighting against is me. But that’s not to do him an injustice, he’s a bad man. The other me cares not for this gorging behaviour, instead choosing to tap the overdue utilities bill in my face.

Well, I say screw him, and commence the montage. For there can only be one winner.


Round 1)

My notes are sketchy. This foe did the dance, and subsequently mugged me and my cohort, namely old mate who complained that he was “weighed down” afterwards. Weak. Although I can no longer run for more than fifteen consecutive meters, so well played, burger.


Located at @churburger in Surry Hills, look for the one that leaves a trail of destruction after it. Follow the line of comatose diners, at the end place your order, and good luck.

When you get to hell, tell ’em Itchy sent ya.


Round 2)

I feel like I’m meeting these burgers at a party, and they know me, but I can’t remember their names. Yeah, we spent a night together, and I was great, but who are you again? I’m a monster, I know, but hate the player etc.

I’ll stop.

I came across this muscular gent at my regular Burgulardone clinic, @barlucasydney. As you can see in the background, its friends looked on in horror. Blurry, blurry horror.


What’s in it?

  • 200g Wagyu pattie
  • Provolone
  • Caramelised onion
  • Nduja (whatever that is)
  • Truffled aioli
  • Basil and almond pesto

10/10 would hate myself immediately afterwards again.


Round 3)

And finally, well… Words, there are not. And do or not do. There is no try. There’s also no shame in me saying that food has replaced sex in my life. It’s shorter, messier, easier to clean up and you can keep it in the fridge until you’re ready for…I’m not sure where I’m going with this.

Food > Sex.

Anyway, this thing is “The Trip” from @baregrill La Perouse.


What’s in it?

  • Beef patty
  • Bacon
  • Onion rings
  • Nduja (still haven’t figured it out)
  • 2x American cheddar
  • Truffle mayo
  • Hash brown

Unless my arteries join my organs, unionise and strike against me, I will see you next week. Or in the next life.



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