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While you were asleep: OPEC hikes fuel price, Christensen breaks Internet, seagull beats Cahill

OPEC

Approx Reading Time-10Morning! What happened while you were asleep? Well, the OPEC bent us over a barrel, George Christensen confused people, and a seagull won the FFA Cup.

 

 

OPEC participates in Throwback Thursday with fuel price hike.

2008. The year where a lot of things not fit to print or exactly remember occurred. Good times.

OPEC, the “International Oil Production Cartel” as the ABC labelled them (which makes them sound cool), met overnight in Vienna (also cool) to table a deal which has seen fuel prices rise by a frankly you’rerightareya? jump of 10 cents, a figure not seen since way back in ’08.

Economists at the ANZ followed Saudi Arabia’s assertion that production costs should be evenly spread across the cartel. In English, it means less cheap fuel and less long drives at night with no destination backed up by the Drive soundtrack.

What? No-one else does that?

 

George Christensen graces GoodWeekend, Internet predicts a bad one.

In a proud exhibition of the human form not seen since Demi Moore graced the cover of Vanity Fair, Liberal MP George Christensen has bared, well, not all, but enough, for the upcoming cover of GoodWeekend. Brandishing whip, a bicep tattoo depicting the Virgin Mary on a stained glass tableau, and his government-issue trifocals, it behoves us to take the man seriously:

Unless satire (and if so, bully zip zip top hole effort there lads), it’s a giant dose of wtf, which is how the Internet took it:

Or in the words one of our own, Harry Cook:

Ouch. However, in the quest of objective journalism, we’ll be reading the article over the weekend.

Before we eat, obviously.

 

Melbourne City lift FFA Cup, seagull upstages Tim Cahill.

It’s hard to write this objectively and not as a told-ya-so sporting hipster, but I’ve followed Melbourne City before they were good. With that out of the way, Melbourne City lifted the cup courtesy of a national treasure: the forehead of one Timothy Cahill (which should be put on the nearest postage stamp, adjacent to Dame Edna and Paul Hogan’s rebellious “Eurekan” approach to taxation).

However, Cahill was upstaged by a seagull, and perhaps the crowning of Australian of the Year-elect Danny Vukovic who nursed the same bird back to health after it was struck by an errant pass from Sydney FC’s Seb Ryall. Off to Nauru with you. For a good portion of the coverage, the seagull’s scrape with fate was covered, with the governing body of the cup itself confirming its condition via Twitter:

But not everyone was convinced:

The hero of this story is Vukovic, who has had a long and torrid road back to the light after he was rightly castigated as a tosspot for manhandling a referee. The thing to remember is that referees are made of glass and dust and any interference with their personal space results in sudden, painful death.

Suffice to say, Vukovic has reformed, and is why pencils have erasers. Welcome back to the bosom of collective respect. Well done, Daniel.

Also: Sucked in! MELBOURNE CITY! CAMPEONES! CAMPEONES! OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!

Sorry.

 

The top five #AusPol Tweets from overnight:

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