Yesterday, Jerry Lewis shot back into relevance with his outstanding hate for an interview he was giving, which got us thinking…has that been topped?
As we all step into the December of this year, we find ourselves at the feet of strange heroes. The sum total of the remaining fucks we have left to donate in 2016 is best counted by Jerry Lewis, particularly exemplified in an interview he gave yesterday. Yes, he’s still alive, and thank God he is. Although one could argue that if the reaper rap’d his door tomorrow morning he’d greet it with a gruff one-word answer. For those who missed it, the interview is below, and somehow elapsed seven minutes, which ironically for subject and interviewer alike would have felt like a lifetime.
— Hollywood Reporter (@THR) December 19, 2016
Fantastic. But that piece of outstanding antagonist behaviour got us thinking. From the library of celebrity press interviews that went awry, what would be the volume most taken off the shelf? After organising a quick whip ’round of the office (for those who aren’t already on holiday, the lazy gits) this is what we came up with.
For me, it starts and ends with Allen Iverson. Honourable mention goes to the speech he made in response to being benched, referring to himself in the third person, while hubristically listing his achievements like a bratty ten year old who forgot their homework, so decided to list all the times they remembered it. While that was good, is wasn’t great. The denouement of Iverson’s one-man show was his reaction to the media querying him on his absenteeism on a midweek training session. The result:
For those counting at home, he said “practice” twenty-two times. Now, the subtext to this scene is quite a bit darker. A few days prior to the infamous rant, the trial investigating his best friend’s murder was underway. You can see the cracks emerging when he repeats the phrase “It ain’t about that”, head lowered, face hidden underneath his Red Sox cap. Those who knew Iverson, or at least saw him play, knew he came from humble roots, by himself, to dominate a world of giants. The only person Allen Iverson can trust is Allen Iverson, and rewatching the video, you can see him rebuild the mental barriers as he realises the absurd situation he finds himself in. Moments after the rant we all remember, Iverson planted:
“I’m upset for one reason: ‘Cause I’m in here. I lost. I lost my best friend. I lost him, and I lost this year. Everything is just going downhill for me … as far as my life. And then I’m dealing with this … My best friend is dead. Dead. And we lost. And this is what I have to go through for the rest of the summer until the season is all over again.”
Just after the terrible Orlando massacre earlier in the year, Guardian columnist Owen Jones participated on a Sky News panel to further discuss the ramifications. What unfolded what a perfect metaphor for the echo chamber landscape of 2016. Jones gallantly fought against the presenters who didn’t believe it was an LGBT motivated issue, and it quickly degenerated from there.
Oh dear. I can barely type this paragraph. I almost went with Harry Connick Jr’s visceral harpoon that finally claimed the heart of the white whale known as Hey Hey It’s Saturday, but instead I went with the man who made the bible (and the word “motherfucker” relevant again), Samuel L Jackson, when dealing with some schlub who didn’t know who he was, and wonderfully did not let him off the hook.
So much awkward laughter and forced positivity. You know there was a substantial amount of teeth ground into dust for those off camera. Ugh. Hard to watch, and rightfully so.
RESEARCH, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU DO IT?
Old, but gold. It starts with Courtney Love lobbing a shoe at Madonna mid-interview and the clusterfuck that ensues made me sad. The whole thing is brutal, underpinned by old mate’s definition, hurled in positive timbre “There’s Courtney Love, everyone’s favourite…uh”. We’ve all turned up to a party completely trashed and invaded a conversation we have no reason to be in, but Courtney takes the cake, puts some drugs in the cake, eats the cake in one setting and then mosies on into the glittering night via faceplant.
Don’t do drugs, or be single, kids.
Bingley the Cocker Spaniel
Mine needs no introduction. The interview that spawned a thousand memes. Remember, he’s not bi-polar, he’s bi-winning. Dude, can’t handle it.
Seriously, though. It’s still amazing. Words to live by. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to bang seven grand rocks. x
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