- Berejiklian “closes the door” on pill testing, ignores findings of inquiry into festival deaths
- Trading primary for high school will be tough, but I’m ready
- Would you clone yourself? I would. I think.
- New law makes it legal for atheist doctors to refuse care to religious patients
- How the everyday commute is changing who we are
Sweet, merciful Thursday. What happened while you were asleep? Well, Julian Assange will face judgement day, sort of, One Nation won their golden tickets and Nick Kyrgios rolled the eyes of a nation.
Assange responds to Manning clemency will travel to US for trial. Or maybe not.
Hoorah, and bully for our outgoing Prez-Bae Barack for springing the military analyst formerly known as Bradley, bringing a great deluge to the fountain of possibilities. As reported by our Editor, and subsequently ignored on Twitter, the general vibe was apparently thus:
Secretly hoping Obama goes the full Oprah with his clemency binge. pic.twitter.com/VKFyDcYPbw
— Mathew Mackie (@MookelJackson) January 17, 2017
With Edward Snowden still on the run, and therefore out of the race, we turned to the White House with eyebrows and palms raised, silently asking the question: “What about Jules?”
Twitter loosed it’s army of trolls, swinging their hairy clubs that cause +4 sadness, reminding Assange of his promise to turn himself over to the US if Manning won her freedom.
Nothing specific as yet from Wikileaks on Assange promise to be extradited to US if Manning was granted clemency https://t.co/ICEBJWoXHL
— Jamie Dupree (@jamiedupree) January 18, 2017
And this is where the story turns vague. Via Assange’s lawyer, Jules mentioned that he would indeed be sticking to his guns, and would head to the US for trial.
Assange lawyer @themtchair on Assange-Manning extradition ‘deal’: “Everything that he has said he’s standing by.”
— WikiLeaks (@wikileaks) January 18, 2017
It’s a sentiment echoed by some news outlets, however a comparable number believe that he won’t.
Julian Assange will NOT go to the US despite the decision to free Chelsea Manning https://t.co/meznmz5y6Z
— Daily Mail US (@DailyMail) January 18, 2017
Assange is leaving the Ecuadorian Embassy reportedly and will be extradited to the United States. https://t.co/36ycsIUfXe
— Brian Klaas (@brianklaas) January 18, 2017
One Nation enters #TicketGate, TBS yearns for afternoon back.
Elsewhere in the Twittersphere, another bone was being picked. And much like the appendage I’m loosely referencing, sometimes it’s not as big as it seems, or the way its spoken about. The pickle stemmed from the wobbly sausagefest that Donald Trump’s inaugaration is set to be.
Now, the problem, as it often goes in AusPol of late, circles around One Nation; the issue at hand, whether One Nation asked for the invitations they
received rejected or if they were actually invited.
— Julia Holman (@JulesHolman) January 18, 2017
As it turns out, One Nation asked for them. Repeatedly:
— PEDESTRIAN.TV (@pedestriandaily) January 18, 2017
As much as we, the media enjoy popping the boot into One Nation, this is a giant, Everestian pile of who cares. Honestly, let us save our ire re: political rule bending apropos to the procurement of tickets to an event that people actually want to attend.
Scalpers are taking losses on re-selling tickets to Trump’s inauguration: “Nobody wants to buy them.” https://t.co/kL08VHsUGi
— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) January 17, 2017
Kyrgios loses poorly, wins the hearts/minds of the truly broken.
Speaking of bandwagon ire, Nick Kyrgios has gone and done a rather silly thing. Well, sort of. For the Kyrgios completists out there, it had it all. Length, power, flair, and a severe lack of fucks to give. Although he ended up losing in five marathon sets, he seemingly lost after winning the first two sets.
Don’t know that I’ve seen a worse approach from an athlete than Kyrgios. Crowd giving everything and he nothing but attitude #AusOpen
— Jo Hall (@Jo_Hall9) January 18, 2017
— Sam McClure (@sam_mcclure) January 18, 2017
In classic Kyrgioan pomp, he went out imbibing the bittersweet taste of sour grapes. Honestly, I’ve never sat through five sets of tennis (I’d rather have my testicles trampled uncontrollably by an African elephant) but tonight I remained glued. Kyrgios is drama. He’s like a three-act play in a fluro-collared t-shirt.
See, watching Lleyton Hewitt was akin to Home & Away, in that you knew how it’d start and end, and that it would drag on far too long, but watching Kyrgios is something else. It’s like that odd performance art, where the subject smears himself with effluence while making an extremely protracted point about “The System”. It’s a higher art that not a lot of people get, which is not to talk down to the tennis audience, but the casually twisted among us would much rather see the possibility of a man self-destruct at the height of his profession, rather than the rest of the tripe on offer.
It’s a fucksight better than watching old mate talk to his hand.
See you at the Open next year!
The top five Tweets from Overnight
Carlson’s guest just said he supports Julian Assange, Edward Snowden and Peyton Manning.
Yes. Peyton, not Chelsea Manning.
— Comfortably Smug (@ComfortablySmug) January 18, 2017
Imagine Kyrgios’ talent with Hewitt’s will to win and anyone else’s personality. #AusOpen
— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) January 18, 2017
— Teagan Ball (@teagsball) January 18, 2017
— Travis (@teakingw) January 18, 2017
“Mr Turnbull said politicians had to spend every dollar of taxpayers’ money as if it were their own.”
..isn’t that the problem?#auspol
— Comrade Mark (@markjs1) January 18, 2017