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While you were asleep: Gambia joins 1977, Playboy piques interest, Cee Lo explains outfit

Approx Reading Time-11Lord. What an evening it was. What happened? Well, Gambia decided to go retro and join the Commonwealth, Playboy went nude (again) and Cee Lo Green explained his odd Grammys outfit.

 

 

 

Gambia become premier West African geopolitical hipsters, decide to join British Commonwealth.

All due respect to you, Gambia (for I have nothing but respect for a country who uses the prefix “The” in its name), but what in the name of fiduciary woe happened here? It seems that the last lightning bolt into the long-decayed corpse of the British Empire (which is to say, Brexit) shocked the Gambians into moving their things back into Ma’ams house.

Yes, I’m not savvy with the economic challenges of a West-African market, but letting the British back in the cupboard, especially under a term such as “Global Britain”, sounds suspiciously similar to “The sun never sets on the British Empire”, a loose parallel that sets my downstairs parts quivering in abject worry. You know, because of history.

I’m not claiming that Theresa May will exhume the corpse of Horatio Nelson and rebuild the fleet, but anything that vaguely smells like mistakes of the past should have a window cracked near it, post haste – a situation perhaps best outlined by the photo below, which depicts the Prez o’ Gambia with a look on his face like someone who drunkenly bid on something on auction for lols, but is now stuck with a pricey, useless doodad.

The other not-nice part of the whole thing is that they get Boris Johnson. Unfortunately for those in Britain who voted to “Remain”, Boris will be let back into the country upon his return. If I may momentarily lean on speculation, masquerading as fact, without a nanosecond of research, there might be something else at play. With the Brexit an almost certainty, allegiances with a country entirely made up of objects from 1959 could be cool. But, it has to become popular, but not too popular so one can’t attach themselves to it earlier, then later traipsing through the UN canteen mentioning that “I liked the new-old-Britain before it was cool”.

I see you, Gambia.

 

Playboy decides to bring back nudity, most of adult world asks when they got rid of it.

As an adult person with a partner, crippling debt and an Internet connection, Playboy magazine is the stove-pipe of my personal old hats. At some point last year, the people who enabled the conversation in conservative America about nekkidness removed aforementioned nekkidness from the Mt Olympus of personal parts. That bold move, in removing the primary reason why people buy their product (a simplification, sure), has somehow backfired, with one of the Hefners stating:

It sounds marvellously like that loose friend of yours who doesn’t drink for the first two weeks of the month to prove a point in the name of charity, before claiming that it was brainfart and asking if we’re free to hit the tiles on a school night.

It surely will end messily for Playboy, who proved that they were on the cutting edge of printed smut by releasing the following tweet:

May you forever fly in the backpacks of nervous schoolboys, and the bathrooms of unchecked sexual oppeness light on tact, forever!

 

Cee Lo Green explains the reason behind his outlandish Grammys outfit, confuses everyone further.

Cee Lo Green aka Gnarls Barkley aka The “Fuck yoouuuu” Gentleman rolled into the Grammy awards gilded in plastic gold, replete with face mask looking like C-3PO on the wrong side of a six-month jaunt into the Tatooine underground robo-Roman-orgy-grime-thrash scene, emerging to find himself changed, looking to avoid the glances of those he once knew. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for, indeed.

For those who missed Cee Lo’s outfit, here it sits:

Fortunately, he’s cleared up the mystery. Sort of. Cee Lo calls this new persona “Gnarly Davidson”, which is, …yep. Well done there. Although one can assume him rolling into the ceremony on a Harley Davidson was merely a coincedence, if he is looking for a new product-tie-in-motorcycle gimmick, may we suggest Radi-Ducati?

 

Top five Tweets from overnight:

 

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