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Straight from the greater world of icky ugliness to your personal space. Sorry about that.

Approx Reading Time-11Morning, you brain-dead geniuses. What happened while you were asleep? Well, a former Bernie staffer launched the US progressive party, the Icelandic PM moved to ban the Hawaiian pizza (sort of), and an Australian faces a Balinese jail.




Former Bernie staffer launches progressive “Draft Bernie” party, gains traction.

Meet Nick Brana. With the US political system bleeding all over the congress floor, the former Bernie staffer has launched a pioneering “third option”, independently pushing Bernie Sanders, or someone just like him to lock horns with the Don, and the DNC candidate, when 2020 rolls around. Speaking on The Jimmy Dore Show, Brana outlined his vision, something that might indeed have wheels, spunk, balls and/or moxie. Peep this: a recent Gallup poll has American voters walking away from the Democratic party, leaving them at a historically low number of 25%. This number hasn’t been since 2004, and this is despite the International anti-Trump rhetoric, and the pro-left headlines espoused by the US media.

Source: Gallup

Source: Gallup

So why leave the party that has the best chance to stop Trump? Our US political analyst, Nicholas Harrington, believes the above figure is due to a lack of meaningful economic policy and ethical platform from the Democrats, combined with the Elephant’s refusal to address the growing progressive Bernie-side of the party, replete with an admission that perhaps that they made a mistake in slaying Larry David’s doppelgänger. Harrington predicts the DNC will split in two, with the anti-Trump GOP and the corporate Dems on one side and the progressive Bernies on the other, in order to take on the incumbent Donald in a political ménage à trois come 2020.

You read it here first.


Icelandic Prez pushes to ban pineapple on pizza, inadvertently highlights Australia’s own social problem.

Historically, a political ban is a terrible thing. Be it George Papandreou’s ban on miniskirts, Donald Trump’s ban on actual evidence or Ngô Đình Diệm going the full Lithgow and prohibiting dance. Allow me to doff a meaningful thrust of the hip toward Icelandic Presidente, Guðni Th. Jóhannesson (which is fishing boatloads of fun to type), for he has banned something that we can all get behind: pineapples as a pizza topping. And yes, I’m unsure if they have pineapples in the land made of ice and folk music, but nonetheless, he has lowered his fist. (Gently. And perhaps in jest.) A country who exports the devil’s nectar, a society whose fissure is tangible; carved in twain, divided between “pineapple-on-pizzas people”, and those who disagree.

Tell you what, Australia. There was a time for the Hawaiian pizza, but not anymore. I’m not saying you should turn your backs to it, but it should be rationed out in governmental controlled environments, where pineapple people will have to enter onto a register for their biweekly hit of fruit on a saucy flat pie. Yes, we don’t want these people wandering the streets willy-nilly, badgering honest citizenry with their, shall we say, “choices”, but it’s also for their safety. It’s a nice, warm place, free of judgement, a room to congregate, and to get your fill.

Isn’t that what we all want? Inclusion with boundaries?


Balinese prosecutors believe Australian woman Sara Connor should be jailed for the manslaughter of a policeman.

I’m just going to get this out of the way early, as an officer of the law is dead, and an Australian could be possibly jailed for eight years, but the footage of the incident may or may not have looked like this:

Moving on. The lawyers for Connor believe that the potential charge is “incredible” as she didn’t deliver the final blows to the victim, Wayan Sudarsa, on Kuta beach. The prosecution believe Connor is equally culpable of the crime, stating that she was uncooperative in the investigation and never admitted her role in the killing, and that this should be held against her.

Connor’s partner, David Taylor, admits to coming to blows with the departed and has shown remorse. He too, faces the maximum charge for manslaughter. The verdict is expected in mid-March.




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