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Approx Reading Time-10Yes, Donald Trump dropped the largest bomb since WW2 on Afghanistan, but the target was not ISIS as reported.

 

 

 

As we’re all aware by now, Trump loves dropping hyperbole. Things are not large, they’re yuge, his governance will not be good, it’ll be fantastic, and his walls are not invisible, they will be great, great as in China. Perhaps this morning, a day of historical auspiciousness (you know, the whole Jesus thing), “45” as he’s loosely known has dropped the largest bomb on the Middle East since the Pilate betrayed Jesus (hyperbole).

Move over Fatman, because that wobbly tangerine man has surpassed you. The MOAB (Massive Ordnance Air Blast), colloquially known as the “Mother of all Bombs” (hyperbole) was dropped on Afghanistan this morning, representing the largest bomb since those loosed on Japan in 1945. Now, a grander bomb for the President there could not be. The bomb, overpacked with bombastic strength (11 tons of explosives), it was so yuge that it couldn’t be handled by the system in place, so another method had to be devised. Moreover, the bomb itself works as a metaphor for his two pockets, one deep, the other shallow. The pricetag of the MOAB is a frankly moronic $314 million dollars, all while the country is broke, and cuts must be made from social programs, but that much for a bomb, sure.

We have an official transcript (hyperbole) from the conversation at the White House which is as follows (hyperbole).

General: We need this bomb.

Donald: How much is it?

General: $314 million.

Donald: …uh

General: It’s orange –

Donald: — Pay it.

Now, obviously, the largest bomb since World War II (TM) was about penis size, and nothing to do with Islamic State. The timing is key, as the Don has decided to unpack from his military’s trousers, to look North Korea squarely in the eye and say, “Yeah, you like that? You thought yours was big. You don’t want this. Trust me.”

Essentially the geopolitical version of this scene in Boogie Nights.

via GIPHY

The money is a factor, as is the geopolitical move against North Korea, as indeed is the fact that Trump has seemingly discovered the political plutonium that all Presidents have: that bombs = applause.

But to reconcile the fact that today’s explosive headline is just the next step toward Islamic State’s erasure? Not so much.

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