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While you were asleep: Coalition apes Labor, violinist upstages Kendall, Game of (Korean) Thrones

Coalition

Approx Reading Time-10Just like Uncle Darryl prying open the liquor cabinet at Chrimbo, we got into the silly juice and insulted everyone after the Coalition made its seasonal speech.

 

 

 

Coalition drops Laboresque budget, political wife swapping continues unabated.

As a dead German espoused “when something is defined, it loses its power”, and so it absolutely goes with the confused dancefloor gropefest at Club AusPol. In the same week that Bill Shorten produced a whitewashed Coalitionesque smear campaign, the Coalition delivered a centre-leftist, infrastructure-driven Laboresque budget.

Yes, I’m confused also. However, in this game of political musical chairs, the needle will wobble its way around the warped Greensleeves recording until sometime in 2018, when the tune halts and they all scamper for seats. Not for nothing, however; unless you are unemployed or currently undertaking a tertiary education, it was a fairly top notch budget, considering the performance of the Coalition prior to it. Surprising that a government who has lurched from crisis to crisis, whilst grasping for the ouija board to banish the ghoul Tony back into Satan’s parlour, could form something so head-noddingly decent. Well, almost.

Dark mornings be these, however, if you happen to be a Leftie or a diehard Rightie, where the selling out of values was either a good, but confusing act, in that the enemy delivered most of what you wanted, or was your people going over to the enemy.

Politics. It’s sex for adults.

Hooray.

 

Venezuelan violinist outdoes Pepsi for credibility in overture for endorsement deal.

In Venezuela, the streets turned teary when police loosed the cloud of a thousand onions in an effort to disperse a crowd which had formed to protest President Maduro. Split in twain, and amid the tear gas, what we are left with is a lone flower of artistic expression blooming through the detritus of a collapsing economy: a lone violinist woefully climbing the bars of the national anthem while his country falls apart around him.

Someone get that man a Pepsi.

 

South Korean parliament decided in clash of photoshopped weaponry.

Is there time to garner funding in order to follow the South Koreans in churching up election coverage? We can only hope. Move over, Antony Green and your flashing board of electorates, for the Koreans have decided to ring in the results in a fantastic, albeit extremely nerdy fashion.

(Please keep in mind that the following people are elected officials who will shape policy, and indeed the location of the aperitif for Cold War: Part Deux…)

So, who won? Well, honestly who cares. Nuclear winter is coming, but not soon enough.

 

The top five Tweets from overnight:

 

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