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While you were asleep: Trump admin implodes, Joyce charges pieface, Linkin Park disowns best album

Joyce

Approx Reading Time-11The full moon has crested over the Trump administration, Alan Joyce will press charges against pie tit and Linkin Park has torn down their legacy. And yes, you should call in sick.

 

 

 

Trump admin crashes through the floor in displays of abject chicanery.

You lucky, lucky, poor, awful, woeful people. Overnight, the Trump administration reached a Class-9 level of clusterfudgery with a string of events that dangerously skirt the edge of going where no Presidential cabal has gone before: full retard. And everyone on the Hill knows that it’s best you probably don’t do that.

In the wake of Trump sacking FBI Director James Comey for…well, it starts with an “R” and ends in “ussians”…this democratic morsel represents the full moon – and the wolves in Trump’s pack can’t help themselves but howl in moronic syllables.

All of which culminated in Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson, travelling to meet the Russian foreign minster, as reported by AFP.

Less than 24 hours after firing your FBI Director for investigating links between Russia and the White House, whether they exist or not, it’s odd to send your head diplomat over there. You’d think considering the heat, and indeed exposure on this, he’d pause the meeting. And I’d know, for I’ve studied extensively under the soft-footed stewardship of Frank Underwood.

The only question left to ask is, Rex…

 

Alan Joyce vows to rise above pieface bit, doubles down on same-sex marriage.

Let’s get to the creamed crust of general assumption. Those who oppose same-sex marriage, by and large, are adults. Perhaps not in application, but absolutely according to their licence. There’s a general vibe of parental assurance that emanates around that side of the debate, in that the older generation know what they’re doing, and it was the way when they were young, and it was fine, and the church and roast dinners and all that. It’s a platform they stand on above those who want same sex marriage, dismissing those as reactionary and juvenile.

However, that all ended by the wobbling, drunken hands of a man called Tony Overheu and the fateful confectionary he drove into the face of Qantas CEO Alan Joyce during a speech in Perth yesterday. It seems that the transgressor will be one to receive his just desserts (sorry), as Alan Joyce will be pressing charges.

“I am a big believer in the great Australian expression of ‘fair go’. It is all about giving people equality…Qantas has always been vocal on gender issues, on LGBTI issues, on Indigenous issues…No attempt at bullying or suppressing our voice will work.”

Yes, it’s a pie in the face, but as Sean Kelly on Twitter espoused:

 

Linkin Park orphans Hybrid Theory, ruins childhood of people who now have kids.

I was the same as every other teenager. I was frightened, so I covered that in anger. I pretended to skate, but couldn’t. I had a goth girlfriend who wasn’t really a goth. I had problems, but I really didn’t. I got hair eventually, and halfway through my twenties I was sort of almost sure who I was. However, the salve in the times of angst, confusion and confusing angst was seminal angry musicians Linkin Park. Mike Shinoda. Mr Hahn. The other guy. Legends all.

They got me, man. Especially their debut album Hybird Theory. It was the album to play at train stations, waiting for a train to take you to another train station. Although, I was also keen on Reanimation, come at me.

However, it seems that those who grew the grapes to make the sonic wine have taken umbrage with the album’s enduring popularity, taking to the Internet with the sole interest of asking their fans to get over it.

With all due respect, Chester…move on to fucking what?

 

The top five Tweets from overnight:

 

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