Mark Thompson

Trump doesn’t believe in exercise, becomes sex symbol


Approx Reading Time-10Finally. Common ground exists with Donald Trump. He doesn’t believe in exercise, a fact which makes me interested in a way I’m not proud of.




Here’s a rarity. A piece praising Donald Trump. What elevates it to the realm of hens teeth is that it is not penned by a xenophobic chap with more guns than teeth of his own, but that, I daresay, the author is onto something. Apparently, the world’s most preeminent hairpiece/mouthpiece eschews the altar of fitness, only shuffling to his knees in the presence of his demigod, golf.

And why not? While a wall is terrible, exercise is far far worse. You’d be foolish not to follow the aerobic regimen of the POTUS, for the results speak for themselves:

Donald Trump - Celebrity Style

Phwoar, I would.

Which makes me wonder he’s not more popular with the younger set, especially because you little chick-a-dees are into the structurally unsound curve scene, amiritet(sic)? Eh? Why not trade your impossibly-derrièred, vapid Armenian/American clones for the Teuton Don. Is Don, is not good? He’s as rich, and as far removed from reality as the ‘Dashians. At least let them duke it out over the cloverleaf smog of downtown Los Angeles, clashing in a wave of unchecked moral compass/downstairs jiggling while the masses below try and justify their support on the basis of reality show production values and/or the trite garbage that spills out on their Twitter feeds.

Fight for your goddddd…

Anyway, back to Trump, who recently disclosed that he thinks exercise is misguided (aside from golf), and considers that, like a battery, a person is “born with a finite amount of energy”. I agree; we’re very much like a battery, barely clinging on to our sole purpose, only briefly coming to life when someone decides to put their tongue on us.

Suffice to say, there was boundless criticism hurled at the walls of Trump’s workout plan, with Dr Michael Jonesco stating that “the ‘battery’ concept fails to account for several inborn capacities our body possesses that make it one of, if not the greatest, machines on Earth.” Jones himself is a sports medicine and orthopaedics specialist at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Centre. “A better analogy would be like the fire that you continue to fuel with more coal or wood,” he told Live Science. “You need to continue to add fuel, or your flame will die. This is true whether you exercise or not. Simply by existing, we are burning energy.”

So in other words, yeah, nah, Donald.

But, in the defence of the Prez, you can make up facts to prove anything. It’s what you choose to believe that counts. Right?

In that mode of thought, I believe that a sneaky back nine will do wonders for my back line. I’ve even lined up a heavy dose of fitspo.


Tee it up.

Related posts

Share via