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While you were asleep: Estimates kicks off, Taiwan legalises SSM, ABC’s football own-goal

Estimates

Well bugger me with a fish fork, it’s Thursday. Huzzah. The world kept dying while you were recharging, which featured an argument at the estimates, Taiwan saying yes to gay marriage and an unholy clusterboink on ABC2.

 

 

 

Senate estimates gets spicy, produces Jerry Springer aftertaste.

Well, much like the couple argument next door that starts at dinner and continues on past your bedtime, the Senate estimates made sleep impossible last night, with two disparate parties coming together to disagree, lay blame, and most importantly, not admit the actual identity of the person marked in their phone as “Dominos”.

Levity aside, the actual Estimates fruitcake offered a far nuttier fare than any lazy sexual metaphors could stencil. As Pauline Hanson asked to define what “Aboriginality” constitutes, the Nationals suspected kids news program Behind the News were sympathetic to Islamic State and the ABC were asked why their coverage of a meaningless money spinning football game was so subpar (more on that later).

To be brutally honest, for all the abject insanity and hurtful one-liners, if one would close thy eyes, why, it was just enough to be mistaken for the braying lynch mob that be the audience of Jerry Springer.

Hot fire.

 

Taiwan becomes the first Asian country to legalise same sex marriage.

Well, here’s something we’ve nary seen on the electronic shores of home. Good news from Taiwan makes a welcome change from picking the fragments of neg vibes out from one’s sole. Same-sex marriage is officially official, putting Taiwan at the front of Asian countries regarding equality. The court ruled that the wording of the civil law which only includes a man and a woman is unconstitutional.

Those who made the ruling, did so on the back of this remark in that “The need, capability, willingness and longing, in both physical and psychological senses, for creating such permanent unions of intimate and exclusive nature are equally essential to homosexuals and heterosexuals, given the importance of the freedom of marriage to the sound development of personality and safeguarding of human dignity.”

Predictably, there’s only one word to describe the general reaction. Scenes.

Well done and congratulations, Taiwan.

Hurry up, Australia.

 

Pre-match coverage of Sydney vs Liverpool overshadows game for entirely awkward reasons.

As a long suffering football fan in this country, there are tiny slivers of unfortunate repeating instances that might as well be written in the booming English of the commandments:

I) Thou shall endure subtle racist coverage from the media.

II) Non fans shall forever castigate thy dives, but shall be converted in time of national success.

III) All coverage of thy game not handled by expertise of SBS or Fox is sure to be shite.

Unfortunately, the earth split in twain and the beast spoke in hushed tones of the third commandment, as the ABC’s coverage of the pointless, and frankly plastic Sydney v Liverpool friendly quickly devolved into an exercise in gazing at one’s shoes in a tsunami of awkward. Honestly, ABC2, I love you, but you shouldn’t have had that much to drink at the party, and spoke over the top of everyone.

The ineptitude held within made this meaningless match of two teams that only the truly bored, apathetic or lazy would support (come at me) entertaining – but not in an informative or fun way; rather an I just saw a possum get hit by a car way. It was brutal, confronting, and you absolutely could not take your eyes of the moment, despite the fact that you knew it would haunt you later.

It was essentially picking the mode of your demise. Regarding the worst bit – for my money, it was this:

As football analyst Robbie Slater put it:

And this is coming from someone who has to work with this man every week:

Seriously though, love you Bozza. You were my first favourite. #AVFC

 

Top five Tweets from overnight:

 

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