Our parent’s generation says we should all stop seeing the avocado for our own good. I’m not saying they’re right, but to prove them wrong, I’ve decided to break up with my green bae.
If you’re a millennial…well, sucks to be you. But if you happen to be one, chances are you’ve discovered your dream of buying a home is the stuff of pipes. In response, you may have complained of such inconsequential problems to any older generation you cross paths with, with their apology being that we should “stop living off a constant diet of smashed avocado”. Because yes, we apparently are so in love with smashed avo that we have let allowed it to prevent us from ever owning a home. I know I am.
So I have chosen to write this open letter to avocados on behalf of myself and any other millennial, explaining why we must end this money-draining love affair!
By the way, is anyone available to go to the pub this afternoon with me? I just don’t want to be alone, hey.
Sam Blacker understands. But, don’t mistake that for an endorsement of your faults, or to enable a date. Seriously, don’t. As one of the middle children of history, he’ll be regularly releasing “life hacks” for those who have given up on life. Because he’s a sadist. And he’s stuck here in perpetuity for a crime he’s committed in a past life.
If you’d like to follow the abject insanity of this cretin, you can find him over on Facebook at www.facebook.com/samblackerpage/