Thursday…the day where things happen. I guess. Two ancient enemies went to war, Trump broke it off with Europe (again) and Eminem admitted to stealing ideas…from Jim Carrey! Coming in 2019, the Ace Ventura LP.
Look at the state of these oranges. Phwoar.
This time each year two rabid, disparate groups of fruit fly ravaged corpuscles from New South Wales and Queensland meet to bare all, to peel back the skin, to reveal who possesses the largest pair of organically grown downstairs furniture. Who you got is nary a question of choice, it’s more a curse of birth, and while the fruit tastes the same the remainder of the year, for three or so weeks, partisanship turns the citrus sour, and rind coarse to the touch, as sweated grit doles out the true member of history’s salad.
However, the flash apparently official, the fruiterers from south of the border triumphed over their northern compatriots, 28 navels to six.
WHAT. A. WIN.
— NSW Blues (@NSWRL) May 31, 2017
You little Ronny Coote.
Trump shakes off typo to pull out of Paris agreement, Internet splits difference.
A handful of hours removed from his vague Tweet that sent nations aflutter, it seems that 45 has done something worthy of derision (for more thoughts on the topic, peep our esteemed Editor’s take on the subject earlier this morning, that goose) by signalling his intention to remove himself, and the country he represents, from the Paris Climate Agreement.
— Red T Raccoon (@RedTRaccoon) May 31, 2017
For those keeping score of The Don’s international relationships, since taking the reigns, he torched the TPP, enflamed North Korea, and tried to hand joust President Macron. Not a criticism, but the man is keeping his isolationist hand strong, yo.
Eminem admits to vast plagiarism in his 2002 album, The Eminem Show, court date not set.
According to Marshall Mathers, the Eminem his bills get sent to, he was heavily influenced by the Jim Carrey vehicle, The Truman Show for his album The Eminem Show. According to the site Genius, which incidentally offers hilarious deadpan analysis of rap lyrics, Eminem said that his life felt like it was a “circus around that time” and that he felt he was “always being watched.” This falls in line with the film’s plot; Jim Carrey plays a man unwittingly living inside a TV show, where his life is broadcast to viewers around the world. I’m looking at you, Peter Weir.
One of the tracks from the album is Superman, a seminal banger about his sexual prowess with a willing partner, coupled with the ability to fly, which apparently directly references the scene where Jim Carrey spins around the world counter-clockwise, reversing the hands of time.
Yeah, I’ve never seen the movie.
Whether Carrey inspired further greatness in Eminem’s back catalogue is yet to be confirmed, however a lazy analysis of the evidence proves it to be absolutely true:
Hi, my name is Jicky-Jicky-Jim Carrey.
The top five Tweets from overnight:
— David Marler (@Qldaah) May 31, 2017
Regrets checking Twitter.
Goes back to bed.
— Merriam-Webster (@MerriamWebster) May 31, 2017
The Dunning-Covfefe effect. pic.twitter.com/7adXFkHqap
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 31, 2017
Arrest order issued against US pornographer Kathy Griffin and 47386 “Twitter” customers, for unspeakable desecrations of Marshal Kim Jong-Un
— DPRK News Service (@DPRK_News) May 31, 2017
— David Isenhour (@DLIsenhourJr) May 31, 2017