TBS Newsdesk

While you were asleep: Trump flays critics, Glover murders musician, NYC fights ban

Glover

Stupidity again dragged its feet over the landscape, with the Trump family not understanding society, Donald Glover killing a man and the people of New York getting petty as only they absolutely can.

 

 

 

Eric Trump claims critics of Dad “not human”, misses obvious irony

For some reason, this brings to mind the squabble in H Division between uber sociopath Chopper Reid and greasy coiffed antagonist Keithy George – particularly when Chopper responds to Keithy’s criticism by uttering, “Beethoven had his critics too, see if you can name three of them.” Incidentally, for being unable to adequately answer the trivial tidbit, Keithy would soon go on to do himself a mischief.

So it goes with the second son of the Don, Eric Trump, who (if that sole semester of the Occult 101 from Sunshine TAFE stands up) will ascend to the throne of ears in the passing of the blood moon, shed his skin and flap his big boys wings. Until then, he’s levelled criticism at those who criticise Daddy dearest, claiming that they’re not even human.

And look, one can empathise with his point. Some people go overboard, and some people have nothing clever to say, so they choose to shout abuse. But for the most part, and just to recap, the criticism is levelled at someone who wants to erect a wall made of either concrete or bureaucracy to keep other humans out of “his” country.

But we’re the problem.

 

Actor Danny Glover wanted for the murder of a notable musician

Hear this horrible sound, boomin’ over the streets of the foggy metropolis; there’s been a murder ’round here, a murder most foul. The victim, he was taken too early he was, snatched from his youth, and now the Lord did take him in front of my own eyes, He did, but this is true, and I tell yer the truth when I say it was his own shadow that done him in.

The name of the suspect is Donald Glover, who looks like this:

His victim, Childish Gambino, who looks like this:

Yes, Glover has decided to retire his uber-popular pseudonym, claiming that it’s “no longer necessary” for his career. Yes, it’s his name (sort of) and he can shed it whenever he chooses, but won’t anyone think of the children sort of named Gambino? Honestly though, I will miss Gambino, but at least now I know it’s the same guy, after sheepishly Googling “Childish Gambino Donald Glover same” one curious evening, having assumed one man couldn’t be as good an actor as he was a musician. But, eh, he soars a good bar. Carry on, DGlove.

Incidentally, I also learned that he gleaned his name from the “Wu-Tang name generator”, which is a real site which really works, especially if you type in “Donald Glover”. Fun, fun. Just for clemency, our esteemed Editor’s name is “Intellectual Killah”, which is truthful.

He does do that.

 

New York City skirts subway ban with acts of great juvenility

New York City is a place of great tradition and art; pimps, chuds, notable junkies, bankers throwing themselves into the streets, coked-up Martin Scorsese, Kevin McAllister’s repeated criminal behaviour, the lair of Donald Trump. A greater Atlantis for culture there could not be. NYC is a place of great resistance, where rhetorical questions are fired as a means of aggression, and indeed meaningful posturing within the branches of the urban jungle, all in effort to fight the man, whatever form he may take. Yes, I see you walking there and yes, I do believe you’re an asshole.

In this battle, the people of NooYawk have shouldered the arms of pedantry in response to the ban which forbid dogs to ride the subway, unless they can fit in a bag, and the whole thing played out with a tedious inevitability. What? Dis bag? Fukouttahere.

 

The top five tweets from overnight:

Related posts

Top
Share via