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Monday. Why always you? We’ve had Malcolm cop more rides from the cool kids, a truth bomb from the bombed streets of Mosul and The Vatican showing their true colours. Apparently, they’re devout dairy people.

 

Malcolm hangs with the cool kids at the G20, sees Macron’s private plane

As far as the G20 goes to the regular Australian, it seems that our premier politician is reduced to that speckly kid in the neighbourhood who approaches the cool kid’s whatever hoping to have a go on it, stating ‘Wow, Donald, that’s a real flash bike, hey’. As it went with Trump’s armoured trouser metaphor ‘The Beast’, so it goes with Emmanuel Macron’s private plane, where they apparently spent the entirety of the journey discussing submarines. Again, phallic.

Mal, I spent my formative years doing what you are (not running a country), and let me tell you this: Being with the cool kids doesn’t make you cool. And while they may take you for a ride in their sweet whip, and the rushing night air might feel good through your hair, those rides eventually stop, and at the end of those rides, some things happen. Things that you might not be ready for.

 

New York Times reporter discovers Mosul may not be as free as reported

Mosul, ISIS free since…last night apparently, and well sort of not really, according to the boots on the ground belonging to New York Times Correspondent Rukmini Callimachi. Sharing the crumbling horrors on Twitter, Callimachi refutes the claims made by Iraqi Prime Minister Haider al-Abadi, stating that she experienced the metallic din of artillery and missiles made of hellfire.

Whether Mosul is still an ISIS stronghold or not seems rather immaterial when you gaze at the scope of the destruction. A city reduced to Mesopotamia levels of piled rubble. Seems to be an obvious point, and a horrific reduction, but the whole Iraq/Syria/Islamic State thing, not good.

 

Vatican consigns vegans to the pit of sulphur, removes communion wafers

Oh, the Vatican. I Holy See what you’re doing, but I Holy don’t believe it. In, and let’s call it for what it is – a shameless love grab (not that kind), the Church has enacted the classic dogmatic rule of picking on someone more hated than you, outlawing vegans from the afterlife. Precisely, vegan communion wafers.

So, while the subtext here is sending all vegans to the fiery pit of bad times below, it also seems that the body of Jesus wasn’t the locally sourced organic immaculately born foodstuff he always claimed to be.

Sacrilege.

 

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