Yes. You should still be in bed. The hours previous has given us many things. Donald Trump became a political climate change denier, the new Doctor Who was unveiled and a nice man won another impractical shiny jug thing.
Trump’s approval rating the worst in 70 years, is Don. Is no good.
It seems that Donald J. Trump subscribes to the Eric Idle school of positive thought when nailed to a cross. This morning, the POTUS has decided to gaze at the sunnier side of his labouring opinion polls, claiming that they’re ‘not bad’, despite them being very bad indeed. The worst in nearly seven decades bad.
The ABC/Washington Post Poll, even though almost 40% is not bad at this time, was just about the most inaccurate poll around election time!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 16, 2017
You know what, Donald? Well done, there. This kind of optimistic denial will make America great again. A kind of deliberate amnesia is what made your country historically important in the first place. A steadfast ignorance of the truth, in favour of the eagle screech of triumphalism. Pay attention, Kid Rock, for the master is speaking.
Jodie Whittaker becomes the first time travelling medical professional, will now be known only as ‘The Doctor’.
The latest face of the Doctor has been revealed, and shock/horror/yay/woo, it belongs to a woman. British (or is it ‘English’ now?) actor Jodie Whittaker now spins the keys of the Tardis on her capable hands. Upon winning the role, Whittaker stated: “It feels completely overwhelming, as a feminist, as a woman, as an actor, as a human, as someone who wants to continually push themselves and challenge themselves, and not be boxed in by what you’re told you can and can’t be.”
— BBC Breaking News (@BBCBreaking) July 16, 2017
All of this is fantastic news indeed, and hopefully this pushes the same change to another rigid 1960’s throwback that remains inexplicably popular, the adventures of Jurassic pants man James Bond.
Just let Emma Watson be 007 already.
Roger Federer wins Wimbledon, the world lurches closer to Armageddon.
Roger Federer, that extremely nice rich man who’d you have no problem with your wife leaving you for has made history with his record-breaking eighth Wimbledon title. A superb performance immediately sullied by an extremely lazy/un-Wimbledon-like slice of social media hot mess.
Congratulations on Wim8ledon, Roge.
The record is broken.
— Wimbledon (@Wimbledon) July 16, 2017
Blergh. Awkies. It’s dangerously close to your Dad trying to make conversation by appropriating your generation’s slang. It’s cute. In a sort of eye-rolling-teeth-grating-please-stop-now-you’d-do-it-if-you-loved-me kind of way.
This Grand Slam, his nineteenth, pushes Federer dangerously to immortality, as according to the laws of Tennis, upon reaching the mythical number of twenty, the seas will boil, the mountains will split in twain, and global martial law will rule for the next century, all in aid to curry the favour of our new god. All Hail.
The Top 5 Tweets from Overnight
— Cam Williams (@MrCamW) July 16, 2017
A Happy Birthday Banner just flittered down & I said WELCOME TO JURASSIC PARK but there was nobody here to hear me so I’m tweeting it.
— Cathy Holmes (@doolallytap) July 16, 2017
Oh great a female Doctor Who. What next? Female real doctors? Female pilots? Female scientists? Female sisters and mothers? Female WOMEN?!
“Doctor Who is being run by PC lefties now”
— Chris Down (@PlingetheElder) July 16, 2017
A Twitter play in 4 acts. Enjoy! pic.twitter.com/jMlCNGrl91
— Bradd Jaffy (@BraddJaffy) July 16, 2017