- NSW Police 18 times more likely to place Indigenous youth on secret watchlist
- In Japan, this man will pretend to be your dad for $275
- First Nations teen subjected to “brutal police assault” demands justice
- My life needs an undo button – let me explain
- Premier clamps down on ‘illegal’ Black Lives Matter protest
The betrayal of an honest Republican, the rise of (another) foul mouthed New Yorker and Chris Lilley’s blackface fiasco. What a week it’s been. Make the pain stop.
Every so often, in the depths of a binge, you pause to catch a glimpse as the ugliness that surrounds you and you wonder how long it can sustain itself. Drunks label this phenomenon ‘a moment of clarity’, and through my covering of US politics, I seem to be reaching this point on a weekly basis. I’m starting to think that the bottom doesn’t actually exist. But, does that make me put the bottle down? No.
I don’t have a problem. You have a problem.
We’ll start with the white rum of this clusterfuck pina colada, with the stunning reversal of definition by ex-Obama Republican antagonist and Senator of Anytown, USA, John Sidney McCain III. Less than a fortnight ago, McCain was rushed to hospital to remove a blood clot relating to his diagnosis with brain cancer, so it seemed for all money that politically, things were curtains. However, when Arizona’s own Lazarus miraculously rolled into the Congress in time for the vote to kill Obamacare, it seemed that he’d do exactly that. The classic GOP establishment stooge, the elephant trampling down the concessions won by Barack. Twitter certainly thought so. We all thought so. Mitch McConnell thought so.
Captured at the moment John McCain voted no on the Skinny Repeal. pic.twitter.com/oKPzyQfGU9
— Philip Meowlowe (@PhilipMeowlowe) July 29, 2017
Except, nah. McCain alongside two Republican senators voted against their ilk, and for the moment at least, Obamacare lives. Suffice to say that the #MAGA set on Twitter didn’t take kindly to the news (despite it affording them affordable health care), with abject insanity being the cuisine that reigns supreme, with some even suggesting that he doesn’t even have cancer. Oh, dear.
here is a batshit insane thread about how john mccain doesn’t have cancer and was actually “getting a dossier in arizona’ https://t.co/En955l6khk
— Jess Wheeler (@wheelswordsmith) July 29, 2017
Remaining in the United States (I’m sorry), this week we lost someone beautiful. Well, not beautiful per se, but beautiful in an ugly way. Sean Spicer, bless him, was a hot mess. The man was born to be Trump’s mouthpiece. Combative, amnesiac, ignorant. The man had it all, and upon hearing his resignation, I felt the loss…fleetingly, as his replacement (and the man Spicer resigned over) Anthony Scaramucci is so much worse/better. The man colloquially known as ‘the mooch’ rocketed into relevance this week with standard Noo Yawk bluster, combining the foul mouth of a cabbie and the calm air of coming violence of a cosa nostra standover man.
— Philip Rucker (@PhilipRucker) July 27, 2017
Scaramucci is a fun dude. In the same week, his wife filed for divorce, citing one Donald J. Trump as the cause, however the typing pool that is Twitter ratcheted up the gossip levels, so don’t take it as gospel, but the NY Post claims that the mooch popped his spouse a text during the birth of his child.
EXCLUSIVE: Scaramucci was with Trump when his wife gave birth on Monday. He texted, “I’ll pray for our child” https://t.co/Jry7eQQQmn
— Connor Ryan (@connortryan) July 29, 2017
Speaking of the New York Post, they’ve taken to Photoshop to flog the long departed equine reality TV trope, knocking up a Survivor themed taking of the piss.
— New York Post (@nypost) July 28, 2017
Finally, for those who you are clinging to the belief that the political poopystorm will subside after Hurricane Trump blows through the trailer park, I’m sorry to say that your denial is not deep enough, as there’s another claimant to the throne (as in toilet) of reactive politics. Musician Kid Rock (who, let’s not forget, introduces himself at the start of his own songs), famous for…hanging out with a midget…and…um…the theme for The Undertaker’s biker persona earlier this millennium, has made good on his threats to run for the Senate. And sadly, he’s doing quite well. Mr Rock (not his real name), will be running against the Dem candidate in Michigan, claiming to bring back jobs for the working class, and pure speculation here, but mandatory beer bongs and wet t-shirt contests for all. MAKE SPRING BREAK RAD AGAIN.
Who else is looking forward to the 2020 Primaries, where Kiddles Rock has to beat out Kanye West for the nomination, before facing off with Mark Zuckerberg in the election proper? I know I am. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to make a power shake out of what lives under the sink.
Noted satirist Chris Lilley has decided to put out a PR fire with gasoline over the weekend, as the Internet responded to him sharing a fan-made cover of his song, performed by his blackface character ‘S.mouse’. Now, the problem (other than the obvious one), is that the remix spouted lyrics that recalled an Aboriginal teen being run over. Now if that sounds familiar, it’s because aboriginal teen Elijah Doughty was recently run over, with the aggressor of the crime ostensibly getting away with it.
Lilley, in response, took to Twitter to apologise, prior to momentarily deleting his account. The criticism was rightly lead by one-half of the hip-hop group AB Original, Briggs, who summed up the apology made by Lilley:
We didn’t ‘misinterpret’ your videos racism. We responded correctly. You re-posted it as if it served some kind relevance. This is YOURS. https://t.co/WKLG0aiUvm
— A.B. Original (@ABOriginalBAM) July 29, 2017
Comedian Benjamin Law also weighed in on the topic, stating:
Before you say Australians have lost their humour, and we used to find this stuff funny, we didn’t. You can just hear non-white people now.
— Benjamin Law (@mrbenjaminlaw) July 29, 2017
Regarding blackface, I know we have an awkward history with this. But we need to stop thinking that it’s casual lols. Look, I get it, most white Australians, myself included, don’t exactly grasp how horrific it truly is. Frankly, I believe we’re all in the Daryl Somers school of thought. Remember the HEY HEY redux, when the only Red Face was Harry Connick’s when he saw those doctors masquerading as Michael Jackson? Recall the on-air rambling apologetic tone of Daryl, mumbling confused platitudes? That’s us. We apologise, but we don’t get it, because we’re only thinking about the punchline.
And finally, I give you head of the Christian political massive, Lyle Shelton who warped brains over the weekend with this atomic zen bomb, which claimed (I think) that aborted babies will euthanise their parents.
The generation that killed its children by abortion will be killed by them through euthanasia. – Andrea Williams
— Lyle Shelton (@LyleShelton) July 28, 2017
Have a wonderful Sunday.