While you were asleep: Trump’s real fake news, NASA posts job ad, Hackers take down HBO

I hope you like your mornings stupid. Trump created his own news channel, NASA will pay you to protect the planet, and HBO was hit by keyboard brandishing vandals.

 

Trump gets real with the truth, decides to create his own.

Let us strip off, allow the cascade of blubber to roll over our hips, bend slightly, so the neighbours can see our junk and take a refreshing morning dip in the pool of unreality. Objective truth, it seems is out. Like Billy Ray Cyrus out. And sanitised lies and nepotism is in. Like Miley Ray Cyrus in. Trashy, needlessly sexual, desperately superfluous.

This morning, the Trump administration moved past the prosaic borders of criticising Fake News and decided to bake their own, real truth lassoed by the Don’s daughter-in-law, Lara. The administration calls it “Real News”. Radical.

Although. Now that the Don has a new favourite news source, what is ostensibly and extension of the man’s dangly bits, I say we should keep an eye on the jilted ex.

via GIPHY

 

Galatic xenophobes unite as NASA posts advert for ‘Planetary Protection Officer’.

It was the job posting heard around the world, where xenophobic taser brandishing rednecks wondered if they had the requisite skills to trade border patrol for the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. The Planetary Protection Officer, according to the advert is responsible for “the avoidance of organic-constituent and biological contamination in human and robotic space exploration. NASA maintains policies for planetary protection applicable to all space flight missions that may intentionally or unintentionally carry Earth organisms and organic constituents to the planets or other solar system bodies, and any mission employing spacecraft, which are intended to return to Earth and its biosphere with samples from extraterrestrial targets of exploration.”

Put simply, to stop this scene. I’d imagine your job would be making sure that the door remains closed, so if you’re keen, probably best to binge watch Alien prior to your interview. That being said, I might just hold out until the double-crossing company shill cyborg position crops up.

 

Hackers take down HBO, lift 1TB of extremely personal data. It’s personal. Don’t ask.

Lawsuits are coming. This morning hackers hit the happiest/bloodiest/nudiest place on earth, HBO lifting approximately 1.5TB of data. According to the man with the most elevated desk, CEO Richard Pepler, it’s all cool.

According to the Hollywood Reporter,  the hack targeted specific content and data housed in different locations, which suggests multiple points of entry. Adding to this, there was no ransom demand, say sources, leaving the motive in question and raising the speculation that video footage, internal documents or even email correspondence could be leaked.

But still, we’re cool:

This story continues to develop. Which makes me think I should have waited, so I can watch it all at once.

 

The Top 5 Tweets from Overnight

 

 

 

 

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