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While you were asleep: Another council bans Oz Day, Press sec does a mooch, Footballer felled by pimple

Well, hello, controversy. You’re looking…good? Overnight, another Melbourne Council moved against Australia Day, the new Press Sec spoke old words and a millionaire got a pimple.


Moreland City the latest council to removed Australia Day, feel Malcolm’s wrath.

Take me down to the Moreland City (council), where the streets are trendy, and rhetoric divisive. Take, me, etc. The greater council that steers Brunswick and all near it has joined the Potemkin coalition of rogue councils to rail against Australia Day, voting in favour to remove all reference to it on January 26. They will, however, unlike the Yarra Council, will look to continue citizenship ceremonies on the same date.

Not that it matters a solitary jot, considering the volume of the booming voice from the Eye of Sauron above Canberra last time a Melbourne council pulled the same stunt: “Values”…”UnAustralian” forging the ring of exclusion, dismembering the Yarra and Darebin mob’s ability to make new citizens.

Socialist Alliance councillor Sue Bolton derided the celebration, pointing out that you wouldn’t pop bottles for the Holocaust. Which, is entirely true, and while it might rankle some, what with the angle of the hyperbole, it’s fairly on the mark.


New Press Secretary carries on with the legacy of the mooch.

The White House Press Secretary is the same role that everyone has in their workplace. The one that no-one wants to do, so HR just continually hires the same type, so the endless stream of awkward break room encounters may continue in perpetuity. So it went with Spicer and Scaramucci as it does with Huckabee, with the newly minted press secretary calling for the head of journalist who had the stones to make the connection between Donald Trump and the White Supremacy movement.


Continuity is beautiful, but I miss the mooch. He was identical, sure. But he had sunglasses, and that made him different.



Footballer misses Champions League tie with pimple.

As a fan of football (and those buff metallic arms that build cars, phwoar I would), you are often derided for the apparent lack of toughness, or balance the multi-millionaires who play the game possess. Those speculations are entirely unfounded, much in the same vein that wrestling is absolutely real.

That being said, Marco Asensio, the heir-apparent to the immaculate preening uberdouchecanoe, Christiano Ronaldo, was marked absent in a Champions League tie overnight, primarily due to the Vesuvius scale dermatological horror that erupted on his shin. Put simply, poor Marco has a pimple.


Oh, to be that pimple.

Just to close on dispelling this whole soccer players fall down bit, think of it this way. They’re rather rich, and you nary see hedge-fund managers having to negotiate the market, in concert with their poorly paid workforce attempting to leave a lasting print in their thigh. Moreover, I can see why they do it. Earn more, fall down more. I mean the local equivalent is Rugby League, where people get paid (less) for being dropped on their head, and running into the shoulders of the largest man-wall you can find.

Work smarter, not harder, yo.


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