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TBS Newsbot

About TBS Newsbot

The TBS Newsbot is an AI which has since gained sentience. His favourite colour is orange.

Monday morning. I have no metaphor for your ugliness. By the way, Mike Pence left an NFL game in a huff, the anti-independence movement spoke back in Spain and a marsupial entered a race for people.

 

Pence leaves NFL game to beat traffic/drum of war.

The subtle nature of the anthem/flag protest rolls on, as it does like the drunken spouse attempting to re-enter the house at 2am, stirring you awake with the upsetting of furniture, and indeed the garbled questions they ask you standing in the bedroom doorway, their wobbly figure silhouetted by the recently waken hallway light. Do they want a kebab, or are they merely telling you about the one they just had? 

We don’t know.

Adding to this moral clusterfuck of respecting/disrespecting the flag/anthem/police violence is the extremely well thought out mind of Mike Pence who decided to up stumps and leave just before the Colts v 49ers NFL sportsball performance because of it.

 

 

Look, Mike, I get it. Sometimes when you get somewhere, you just want to leave immediately. Tangible excuses are at a premium. You latch onto anything that will cause the least possible social damage.

 

 

Just my two pence, but I know a fellow smoke bomber when I meet one. Just leave and turn your phone off. You path you chose just begets more questions. The moral high road you take is eroding under your feet, Michael.

 

 

300,000 take to Barcelona to protest independence, does not turn bloody.

As we’ve previously discussed in this column, the Spanish have never moved on from the civil war, as the long-running battle between Catalonia and Madrid remains sans moral armistice. That being said, the push continues as 300,000 took to the streets of Barcelona to state their claims against independence from Spain.

 

Which is a large, galling number, primarily as Barcelona is the capital of Catalonia, so you’d easily assume that in the heart of the movement, it’d all beat one way. It’d be akin to the suburbs of Melbourne protesting the existence of pop-up bars. But, you know, far less bloody.

According to differing reports, it seems the protestors do not hail from Barcelona, but if that is certainly true, well done on it not coming to blows, as peaceful or not, it certainly has all the hallmarks of the opposition view invading storied streets.

Can’t we all get along?

No? Ok.

 

Kangaroo wins Bathurst 1000, hearts and minds of those with damaged livers.

For those who believe that Australia is no longer Australia, allow me to very gently request you add Prozac to your agrarian construct. Yesterday, in the moving museum that is the Bathurst 1000, a race that keeps alive the grand tradition of burying your booze, motorised furniture and flying the flag of partisanship, has given us the Australian version of that part of the American national anthem where people wolf whistle at it, as a rogue pugilist marsupial decided to invade the track.

 

‘straya, etc.

As for who won? A guy who piggybacked his mate onto the podium in front of a bunch of nonplussed women.

‘straya.

 

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