While you were asleep: Ivanka’s questionable vocab, Kid Rock kids Senate, Russian journo out of coma

Oh, Wednesday. The plain forgettable cousin of the work week. In the interim of your consciousness, Ivanka’s English was placed under investigation, we escaped President Kid Rock and a Russian journalist lived to tell a joke.



Writer contends that Ivanka doesn’t not do English that well.

As someone who deals in words, Ivanka Trump’s abuse of the English language is completely superlative. I mean, pick up a dictionary book. It’s not that hard to reticulate yourself. That being said, notable pendant/VICE writer @evepayser took to the Twittersphere with the surmisal that ‘vanks possesses too much Thesaurus and not enough Dictionary.



Kid Rock pulls plug on Senate push, congratulates himself on ‘artistic’ achievement.

Thank the great lord Isaac Asimov above, for the worst of our fears not helping itself to what sits in our cupboard. Kid Rock will not run for the Senate, bowing out of the race exhaling a very senatorial air:


Which, now that it’s not going to happen, we can make jokes about it. Nervous nervous jokes, allow my voice to trail off and my eyes to dart. Although, shame we won’t see the Kanye West/Kid Rock run off now, right? That would have been hilarious, right? One bleached arsehole who signs about bleached arseholes against a flag waver gent who doesn’t own a shirt, or a lick of sense.

Kid Rock has single passed the stunt off as an artistic endeavour:


That being said, at least the door is now ajar for a proper candidate. A real rock solid man of the people.

Kill me now.


Stabbed Russian journalist returns to the land of the living, with jokes!

And finally, good news. The outspoken anti-Krelim journalist who stabbed in the neck has emerged from her coma, with bants to boot. Tatiana Felgenhauer had been unconscious since being attacked on Monday, with her attacker firmly in the arms of custody.


She emerged this morning, speaking via Twitter, commending her attacker for awarding her “the first good night’s sleep in 16 years.”


Very good.



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