- Stop wasting your weekend with this one weird cranial delusion
- Current Affairs Wrap: Bloomberg’s limp debut, Bolt’s grim take, violence grips Germany
- ‘The Great Australian Play’ takes a bite of our history and spits out something truly unique
- As children, we swapped the country for the city – as an adult, we need the same thing
- 150 years ago, Japan dropped the “Fart Battle” scrolls
Morning, again. Does this mean I no longer have to be an ogre? Overnight, Justin Trudeau proved that he was not a robot, Forbes gave into apathy and Donald Trump made no sense.
Trudeau’s Town Hall crack goes viral, Justin promises to do better, beta males the world embrace.
I’m unsure if this is a personal thing, but I’ve discovered that the more you’re allied to a topic, the propensity of making a herculean gaffe grows. But you do it, in a sort of well-meaning, I know so much, henceforth I was subverting the collectively held ignorances, because I don’t hold them. See,
Canadian PM and uber-everything, Justin Trudeau discovered this overnight when he popped a lol at a town hall meeting.
Justin Trudeau interrupts a woman’s question at a town hall meeting to suggest she use the term ‘peoplekind’, not ‘mankind’ pic.twitter.com/GUkZV3XRpg
— The Guardian (@guardian) 7 February 2018
Yeah, I don’t get it either. He later apologised for the joke with another joke, stating that he shouldn’t make jokes.
— Vassy Kapelos (@VassyKapelos) 7 February 2018
I see you, Justin, what with your mouth turned slightly upwards. You scallywag. That, or he gave the world something more precious. He made a mistake. And that makes me feel gooooooooooood.
Yeah, I’m a toxic person. Date me.
Snake finishes devouring itself, as finance industry honours Bitcoin investors.
As dead-dude David Foster Wallace once said: “Acceptance is usually more a matter of fatigue than anything else.” Cryptocurrency is very much like that. I didn’t know what it was, now I do, and I wish I didn’t know what it was.
To be fair, the world feels my angst. Once-towering financial wizards (who I’ve admittedly not read) Forbes is the latest man-made construct to fall to the whims of Bitcoin, as they’ve gone out and done this:
Introducing the first ever list of the world’s richest people in cryptocurrency: visionaries, investors, geeks and freaks who rode the crypto wave to amazing highs https://t.co/OnhJ4UiOai pic.twitter.com/ayT4bo4M23
— Forbes (@Forbes) 7 February 2018
Donald Trump breaks silence on Wall Street crisis, waffling pointlessly about the past.
For those who have been following the market misdealings of late, the path has wound from your loungeroom, via the rickety ledge outside our office all the way to that bar that you’ve been going to a little bit too much lately. I’m not judging, no. But they make your drink before you have to ask. Sooooo….
However, what many of us have been waiting for, you know, other than my futures to un-fudge itself, are the trite barbs of Donald Trump, that guy who knows finance. *cough* four-times bankrupt.
Anyhoo, he took to Twitter, and for anyone who has seen this movie before, it made too few sense.
In the “old days,” when good news was reported, the Stock Market would go up. Today, when good news is reported, the Stock Market goes down. Big mistake, and we have so much good (great) news about the economy!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) 7 February 2018
Um, ok. I suppose unfounded nostalgic anecdotery is the foundation of knowledge, and I could quickly Google a smug quote to back that up, but I’m in desperate need of coffee.
Have a good day, yeah?
The Top 5 Tweets from Overnight
There was a time when your phone would ring and you had no idea who it was and you’d just answer it and go “hello.” Chilling.
— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) 7 February 2018
Gonna show this brand what’s what by buying and consuming their product publicly https://t.co/S4Qd8y1pM9
— compulsory phonics (@macaulaybalkan) 7 February 2018
Excellent😬 the black Renaissance continues.
Not sure why they called him ‘Cheddar Man’ though. Some alternative names:
Jollof James https://t.co/1JwdwPvJDu
— Austin (@AustinDarbo) 7 February 2018
— illy bocean (@IllyBocean) 6 February 2018
— Academia Obscura (@AcademiaObscura) 7 February 2018