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The avocado proposal: 2018’s most tasteless gimmick (so far)

Why won’t we let the avocado trend die? This week, for whatever reason, couples are using it as a means to propose.



To those who believe romance and originality are a dead couple, I’d love to disagree with you, but do you need a lift to the funeral?

Not a week after the avocado trend truly jumped the shark, it seems that they’re lining up the ramp for an even deadlier leap, because, apparently, there’s nothing more romantic than shoving jewellery you can’t afford into a foodstuff you absolutely cannot afford.

If the path to hell is truly paved with discarded avocado husks, then this why we can’t have nice things, and why things fall apart.



Note. Not satire. The author of this hellscape, Colette Dike, explained her reasoning to Health.com: “I love to work with healthy, versatile, and photogenic fruit…I get inspired by everyday things and love to come up with a fresh take on classics.”

We truly are the shallow men, the brunch stuffed men.

Dike teamed up with the World Avocado Organisation (which I assume is a shadowy fruit-based recipe with the same taste of the NWO) and used her own engagement ring to stage a fruit-forward proposal idea.

Our basic voices, when we whisper together are quiet and meaningless as wind in dry grass.

I mean stonefruit the crows, what this represents is a generation at the end of its creative tether. Yes, we’ve abandoned the Australian dream of homeownership. That was hilarious, and we all laughed, but we did so, because we clearly didn’t know what to say, so we laughed. But since then, we’ve just kept repeating the same joke, no longer laughing, but attempting to gain a different meaning out it with repeated doses.

This is how the world ends.

In fact, I say it’s time we start showing resistance, and it’s time to start with those we love the most. Our partners. Those with knee bent, eyes sparkled, brows sweated in trepidation of the question they just asked, and the answer you’re yet to supply. You’d probably say yes to that question, but considering the diamond has that green heart of darkness all over it, the answer is no, I’m sorry.

If we’re truly going to free ourselves from the avo, we need to smash the one within. Start with our own darn selves, individually free ourselves from that overpriced dairy yoke, and move on.

I mean, if we don’t this is what will define us, and what we’ll be left with.

Flash mobs and avocados.

This is how the world ends. Not with a bang, but with a limp Moulin Rouge cover.





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