- New technology can ascertain your political views by the look on your face
- Black America isn’t sold on Biden, but Kamala Harris may change that
- Child-free women are tired of being told they’ll regret it
- Yet more allegations against our military in Afghanistan set to emerge
- McDonald’s sues former CEO, citing sexual relationships with staff
Monday. Hooray. Overnight, LeBron’s Cavs were stopped by a bunch of kids, the latest Newspoll confused us and the Toronto police succeeded where the Avengers failed.
Cavs drop first game against Boston, Internet turns on LeBron.
There have been two absolutes in the NBA Finals thus far, a) LeBron will continue to sherpa this godawful Cavaliers squad toward the Everest in Oakland and b) The gleeful endless internet ruminating about his ruminant (aka GOAT) status. Well, this morning, the Celtics (lead by kids, and sans their two best players) rolled over the deity bandwagon by TWENTY-FIVE pissing points.
LBJ finished with 15 points from 5-15 shooting, and as soon as the final buzzer crested, the internet made with the mirth.
LeBitch at it again!
Watch as he complains to the ref because he missed an easy shot & refuses to get back on defense leading to a Celtics basket.
We are truly witnessing greatness right before our eyes. 🙌 pic.twitter.com/qTMpn1GauB
— Michael Jordan (@PettyAirJordan) May 13, 2018
Tryna told hold back that smile 😂 pic.twitter.com/ERsppcN229
— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) May 13, 2018
— The Ringer (@ringer) May 13, 2018
Kyrie done told all of Bron’s secrets pic.twitter.com/a8FmUgn9x6
— Bruh Report (@BruhReport) May 13, 2018
That being said, if ‘Bron drops fifty in the next game, all this will be erased. Oh, Twitter. You so fickle.
First post-Newspoll budget arrives, and the winner is…both?
Elsewhere in fickle Internetdom news, the only true measure of a politician’s worth, the Newspoll (a measure that’s completely inaccurate and subjective) has arrived, and the winner is…both? This morning, The Australian is claiming a great victory for Malcolm Turnbull, whereas the Sydney Morning Herald is claiming the reverse.
— The Australian (@australian) May 13, 2018
— The Sydney Morning Herald (@smh) May 13, 2018
I’m of the mind that we should probably ignore every Newspoll until the end of time. Now that Malcolm bested Tony’s mark an aeon ago, there’s nothing left fighting for. The ALP grows, Bill Shorten shrinks. Rinse, repeat.
The greatest bad dude in the galaxy spends an afternoon in a Canadian drunk tank.
Thanos. The dude with the fist that creates memes is currently the antagonist we all love to hate/love to love/hate to leave, et. Look, I haven’t seen the movie he’s in, but he kills a lot of people for whatever reason. Since his movie has dropped, he’s appeared in two things. In the opiate of this week, Fortnite, and also in the back of a Toronto police car.
— PCPapadopoulos (@PCPappy) May 13, 2018
However, if a regular Canadian Mountie with a two-way radio and an elevated blood-alcohol-cholesterol level can stop the galaxy’s toughest dude, I might give that movie a miss, hey.